A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My GF and I have been dating for almost 3 years. We see each other weekends, and sometimes during the week,when we not seeing each other,we chat on an Instant Message application.Normally she lets me know she's online to chat.Its usually in the evenings when we come home from work. As of recently she has been online a lot, when i log on, shes already online, when we chat, shes quick to reply, but recently she takes at least 3 minutes to respond, which i found odd. Also recently, i logged on during the day and she was online and when i say hello, she always says "G2G, chat later, very busy", I logged on 5 times the one day just to check, and she was online all 5 times, this has been going on for 2 weeks now.Last week, Tuesday morning i sent her an email from work, she never responded. Later that day just before i finished work, i logged on, and she was online. I asked her why she didnt reply to my mail, she said she was too busy. She was too busy to reply to mail, yet she has time to be online?This is what really made me suspicious, last friday she was in the shower, i looked at her contacts on her IM App, and noticed a new name i'd never seen before, didnt think much of it. Later on that night she was speaking about her work colleagues, and she mentioned a guy's name, the same new name i'd noticed earlier on her IM App contact list. When she mentioned his name, i asked her who this guy is, she turned away and paused, as if she didnt hear me, i asked her again who he is, she said hes just a guy at work, then she all of sudden changed the subject. I found this very suspicious.I havent confronted her about any of this. I dont know if im just being paranoid. Something just doesnt feel right. Please help.
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female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (15 March 2011):
 Tell her you know she has been chatting online with this other guy just about everyday, and see what she says. Tell her that it's ok she can tell you the truth, and that you won't get mad but you need her to be 100% honest with you about it, especially if she is starting to have feeling for someone else or is thinking she would like to go out with him or something.
If she admitts to chatting with him and being attracted to him, then you need to know if she is willing to break off all non-work related contact with him, in order to save her relationship with you. If she won't do that for any reason then tell her that you would rather she breaks up with you before she cheats on you.
I am sorry but I can't think of anything else to tell you, she either loves you and it was all a mistake or it wasn't.
And you are better off knowing the truth now then being blindsided by it later.
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