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Some advice please on my first date

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 28 July 2017)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I'm going on a first date soon with a boy I really like. We went to elementary school together and recently reconnected on a dating app. I haven't ever been in a long-term relationship, and all the dates I've gone on in the past few years were complete flops. I'm not sure what to do to make it a good date? I'm also a little anxious that he'll kiss me. I had my first kiss in middle school, but I haven't been kissed in seven years. Help?! Please?!

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (28 July 2017):

Dionee' agony auntYou're psyching yourself out OP.

Just be yourself. Treat him like any other human-being that you are getting to know.

Don't worry about kisses and such because if the date feels right and has moments that feel right then you will react in the moment. You will be able to judge what is an appropriate response, a nice gesture and all that when you're in the moment.

Get to know him and allow him to get to know you when you're there in front of each other. You guys can share hilarious experiences, hobbies, pet peeves... the list goes on.

Make sure that you're smelling lovely, dressed comfortably and feeling at ease.

With that being said, you will be ok dear.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (28 July 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntStop thinking of it as a date and think of it as a meeting to catch up with an old school mate. If the person you were meeting was a girl you went to school with, would you be as anxious?

Ask him lots of questions about himself and listen when he answers. That way it takes the pressure off you and will give you chance to find out about what he is like now. Remember, he is probably as anxious as you (although he may be able to hide it better and put on a front).

Don't be afraid to admit you are nervous when/before you meet.

Don't drink too much, as you obviously need to be in control of what you are doing/saying.

Think of some questions you can ask him about himself and what he has been doing since you last saw each other. See if you share any memories of the school you attended. Perhaps one or both of you are still in contact with other pupils from that era? Ask him what he likes doing in his spare time. If he likes, for example, watching movies, ask what sort of movies and what he has watched recently. If you have seen it, compare notes. If not, ask him about it.

On the day, make sure you have plenty of time to get ready. Have already decided beforehand what you will wear so that you are not panicking when getting ready. Know how you are going to get to your meeting point and how you are going to get back (own car, lift, public transport). Perhaps have a friend phone you an hour into the meeting to ensure all is ok? Remember, just because you knew him all those years ago, does not mean you know anything about him now. Be as careful with him as you would a complete stranger and keep yourself safe.

That said, relax and enjoy your meeting with your old school buddy. I am sure you will have plenty to catch up on and chat about.

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland +, writes (27 July 2017):

How lovely for you on your first date,there is no need at all to be concerned.Wear something pretty and just be yourself and chat away and ask questions.If the truth be known your guy is a little anxious to make a good impression on you. remember it take 2 people to make a date.As you kissed before...you will have no problem at all.Do not think of past dates...this is now and all will be fine.Remember you do not have to do anything to make a date work....just be your cheerful yourself .Have a most wonderful time.Best luck NORA B.

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