| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I've recently found out I'm pregnant but something is nagging at me and bringing me down. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year (I'm 17 and he's 21). I really love him but I strayed a couple of months ago (when I got pregnant) and slept with someone else on a night out. I know it was stupid, I was very drunk, but that's no excuse. I don't think he used a condom either so I'm scared the baby could be his. I'm excited about being pregnant and so is my boyfriend but it's tinged with worry and guilt that this baby could be someone elses. It's driving me to want to have an abortion! I can't find out who's the baby is until it's born and I just don't know whether i can take that chance. Do I tell my boyfriend what happened and risk losing him? Or keep quiet and take the chance the baby is not his? Please help!
View related questions:
abortion, be pregnant, condom, drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, daniella +, writes (9 September 2005):
you need to confront your boyfriend if you dont and decide to keep the baby and it turns out not his it will only make it worse how far apart did you sleep with this other guy to your boyfriend. Find out how far you are and try work it out if its bad news you need to do some thinking is it worth loosing your boyfriend over. good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2005): Apparently since the begining of humanity women, during times of ovulation commonly stray and mate with men that will give them genetically healthier children, and then they settle down with a man who will provide for them. Womans power, womans choice!
...............................
A
male
reader, feelingood +, writes (8 September 2005):
What about STDs? A friend of mine was diagnosed with an STD from a one night stand and passed it onto his partner. Thankfully he got it treated and it caused him no further problems. Kids cost money and they take up a lot of time and energy. You're young, weigh your priorities up and then decide. An abortion is a big step, but so is keeping the child.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2005): Before doing anything,it is important for you to discover what you believe the consequences are likely to be, for you and most importantly, your unborn child, if you were to decide whether or not to tell your bf the truth. Telling your current bf the truth, doesn't necessarily trigger the end of your relationship but it will cause some pain and that is an inevitable consequence. But it does shows your courage and moral fortitude in doing the right thing. It does show you have a proper ethical 'compass'. You take a chance at losing him but can you live with yourself if you don't tell him. Just some things to think about.
I have to be straightforward with you. If you are pregnant, your child should be your main concern at the moment. You to be responsible and do what's best for him/her. Bringing a new life into the world is a incredibly daunting task and this issue is no longer just between you and the prospective father, which ever guy that would be. This now includes a new life-a new person. This is very serious matter because the emotional well-being of this new baby's future is now in your hands and you have to proceed with only the "the best interests of the baby" in mind. As this child's Mother, you are morally obligated to this unborn child, to establish paternity for some very good reasons. This child has the inalieable right to have a father-child relationship with it's natural, biological father. They both deserve the chance to bond, develop and flourish in a healthy child-father relationship. The child needs a sense of belonging and needs to know who their family is and what their paternal family roots are. Paternity gives your child the increased likelihood to know about any genetic diseases and disorders that may exsist in the biological dad's family that could show up at birth or later on in childhood. Your child is entitled to financial and economic benefits from the natural father. (child support, family inheritances).
You have a lot of thinking to do. When you have finished that exploration and are quite certain about what you want to do, I hope you will have the ability and the words to talk to your bf. Please seek some advice from a family counselor, your doctor or a pastor. These people will offer you much needed guidance, support and help you and your baby will require in time. When this child is born, DNA testing will have to be done and paternity established so the biological father should be held responsible for the financial and emotional well-being of your baby.
I sincerely wish you and your baby the best of luck. You have a big responsibility, so I hope form now on, you always do what's best for your baby. Take care And good luck, dear
Hugs, Irish
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2005): So are you saying that you were pregnant when you got drunk and slept with someone else or are you saying that you weren't pregnant at that time. If you were pregnant then then it's your boyfriend's but if you weren't pregnant then and you haven't slept with your boyfriend ever since sleeping with that other person then the baby is the other person's. Do you want a baby at the moment? I mean you're only 17 and they're a big responsibility.
...............................
|
