| A
female
,
*C
writes: When staying at my boyfriend's house the other month I found a dating services newsletter in the post he had left it in his room, obviously put to one side. I have since looked on his mobile and found text messages from online dating services. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 7 months and I do believe he genuinely loves me. I'm just not sure why he is doing this and should I confront him about the newsletter and text messages? And if so, how do I confront him, as I will have to admit that I went through his mail/mobile phone. It is a longish distant relationship but we see each other maybe 4 days out of the week, so I wonder if he is meeting up with anyone when back in his hometown. Grateful for any advice!
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (11 October 2005):
My advice would be to say nothing to him at all for now, you never know he may have subscribed to a dating thing ages ago and is still getting mail and texts from it. Sure snooping is not good but whats done is done. He might not want to tell you about it because he might be embarrassed. You could bring up the subect and tell him you were thinking about subcribing to a dating agency when you were single. You could also tell him that you want your relationship to be monogamous if this hasn't been discussed already. Next time you are together and he gets a text message you could always ask him who its from, and see how open he isabout his social life. At 7 months you are really still getting to know each other and if he is seeing someone on the sly you will find out eventually anyway.
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (10 October 2005):
 A relationship flounders if there isn't trust and trust is lacking greatly in your relationship. Something must have made you need to check up on him in the first place.
If you're sure that he genuinely loves you, why would you need to check up on him?
The only way you will be able to sort this out and to try to build trust will be for you to tell him; there is no other way.
Yes, you will have to admit that you were snooping and perhaps even give reasons why you did but after he has got over his initial reaction of you doing this, he will have to explain himself.
You need to know if he just wants you or whether he is looking for someone else while seeing you. You have a right to know as he could be leading you up the garden path or just simply using you.
Say to him that you are concerned and worry about your future together. Let him know how you feel and now you have a reason to be concerned. Ask him to be honest with you.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntieChrissy +, writes (10 October 2005):
Honesty is the best policy. Tell him straight out.
...............................
A
female
reader, lewdness +, writes (10 October 2005):
If you two are in love at all and your relationship can survive a few bumps calmly ask him about it.please tell me how it ends up Good Luck - Lewdness
...............................
|
