A
female
age
30-35,
*eganH
writes:My friend and I were practically the only ones still at college, due to our exam schedule. Our exam finished at 10:30am and we both planned to fly home the next morning. We spent the whole day together; we were practically the only ones around. We've been friends since we were little kids, and while his family moved to the other side of the country this summer, we both decided to go to the same college (both doing sciences). The whole day I couldn't help but notice just how incredibly good-looking he had become...and judging by his stories of the concluding semester, I wasn't the only girl who had. We went swimming and when he took of his shirt I think I almost fainted (he's sooo fit). It was so weird seeing him in that way after being friends for so long, but any girl would have had the same response, in my defense.We ended up drinking in my dorm, and we talked about almost everything. He made my ribs hurt I laughed so hard. It must have been around 2am when the topic of sex came up (and the bad frat boy sex I'd had). I remember holding his gaze for a moment, and just lunging to kiss him. I really, really wanted him at that moment. I've had sex before, but it had mostly just been an effort to make the guy happy...this time was different, I really wanted to sleep with him. He tried to hesitate, but it's clear he wanted it too. I remember thinking when he was on top of me, "I HAVE to have him" -- I've never felt that before...and so we had (really good) sex. We had separate flights, which we both nearly missed, worse yet we hardly spoke the next morning. He hasn't responded to any of my messages or txts, although I only sent three. It's been nearly a week...and I really miss him. I don't know why he's being like this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (24 December 2011):
 "I've had sex before, but it had mostly just been an effort to make the guy happy...."
The guy is avoiding you because he's worried you might fall in love with him. You made the first move, you made it clear that you wanted to have sex. The fact that he hesitated meant that he thought it was a bad idea. But men are men, they like sex, so you had sex and it was good.
Now he's avoiding you because he feels guilty. Having sex with a friend changes the relationship badly. It's only been a week and you've been chasing him. That doesn't sound like friendship, that sounds like a woman in love and desperate. He's avoiding you because he doesn't want to talk about it, and he doesn't want to be your boyfriend, he just had sex with a girl who made a pass at him, and now he's not sure if he wants to continue the friendship.
I suggest you leave him alone for now. Give him a month or so then call him up and act like a friend and not a woman who wants love.
You should stop having sex right now. You have sex to please other people (getting used) you have one night stands with friends who have been drinking (FWB) You need to step back and make up some rules about what kind of relationship you expect to have and how you want to be treated before you take your knickers off.
A
female
reader, MeganH +, writes (24 December 2011):
MeganH is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe wrote me a message a few hours ago saying that he just needs some time, and that he's just very confused about the whole thing. He said that night wasn't the first time sleeping with me crossed his mind, but just that now it had actually happened, he wasn't/isn't sure what to make of it.
I suppose all I can do is wait...and thanks everyone.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 December 2011):
 It's his way to tell you : don't get any weird ideas, we are just friends , that was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing.
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A
male
reader, Ldu +, writes (24 December 2011):
maybe he doesn't want to lead you on ? He probably hesitated because he didnt want you to catch feelings ?. Its tough to say just wait until he contacts you.....you don't want to come off like some crazy clingy girl after having sex with some one. You reached out and now he hasn't responded.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): I think most girls would expect some sort of dating or relationship after becoming intimate or would assume the guy must like them romantically, which is most often not the case with these one night hookups. He is probably keeping his distance because of this and does not want to lead you on.You can either give him space until he feels enough time has passed to where you won't get the wrong idea about this becoming something more than a one night stand or you can leave him a voice mail telling him everything is cool. I would only do that if you mean it, otherwise take this time to accept this was nothing more than sex.
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