A
female
age
41-50,
*enie53uk
writes:Hi everyone i went to the gum clinc and found i had herpes i got treated and told my partner of 3 and half years to get treated at clinc. When i told him i had it he looked at me like he hated me and was disgusted, i walked out crying and he hasnt bothered to contact me I am so upset and angry but it wasnt my fault. Should i try and get him to talk to me?
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Reading your follow up all I can say is I feel terrible for you.
HSV2 is not the end of the world. It can be controlled and if you stay healthy, and it goes dormant it may never resurface again.
As far as your ex-boyfriend/partner, if he's the only person you had sex with and you contracted it from him, then you were obviously having sex with him and whoever he had sex with and got it from.
If he's angry, his anger is misplaced. The fact that he thinks you cheated on him is irrelevant. He obviously has to open his mind to the possibility that he got it from another person he had sex with, and the sooner he contacts that person and lets them know, the better.
If not he and whoever else will continue to spread this disease to everyone they have sex with.
Sex is fine and good. Its intimacy on the most personal level. But its not to be used as a weapon.
Tell him if he doesn't get treated and find out who it was he got it from, then you'll have to turn him in to the local health department. In which case it could turn into a crime if he passes it on to anyone else without warning them.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 If you have never had sex with anybody else, who did he get it from? It's a BIG question ... no wonder he is trying to put the blame for this on you ... not only has he given you an uncurable STD but by doing so he has to admit he cheated, and not just cheated but cheated with somebody who hands out genital herpes like sweets.
I should imagine he is feeling a lot of guilt and shame, probably the most you can ask for is that he does contact you and, at the very least, apologise.
If he wont talk to you or respond to messages, go back to the clinic, tell them he is the only person you have ever had sex with, and give them his contact details, and also his mother's address as an alternate contact.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 October 2010):
 Now, the question is how did he get it? Because he's making you look like you're the one cheating. I suggest you ask him.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 October 2010):
I'm going to assume it's genital herpes because he hasn't contacted you and you're that upset over it. Genital herpes, you know there is not a cure and can be contracted from someone who has oral herpes through oral sex. But it's mostly through one who has genital herpes spreading it to another. It can be maintained through oral medication...I'm sure he'll get treated as soon as possible.. Now, the real question is where did you get this from? You need to figure that out first before the you broach the subject with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): well if its gential herpes then, he probabily thought you cheated on him because you can only get that from sex. but if thats not it then, not to be harsh but most people don't want to be in a sexual relationship with someone who has a STD.
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A
female
reader, genie53uk +, writes (24 October 2010):
genie53uk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts genital herpes lve only ever had sex with him so def got from him
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (24 October 2010):
Is this oral herpes, like cold sores? Or is this genital herpes?
People do have cold sores, and that's not uncommon.
Herpes itself strikes 1 out of 7 or 8 people worldwide.
And the next question is, do you know where you got it from? Was it from him?
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