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anonymous
writes: I have been with my fella for over four years now and in the last two years the sex has slowed right down. I am sure he is chatting to women on the internet, as he is coming to bed later and later. He said it is because he doesn't want to have to turn me down and hurt me. He has problems getting aroused.I am getting more and more paranoid about this. Is it wrong for him to chat on the internet? Is it harmless flirting? He has denied he is doing it. I have found messages from women, but he said they can easily get your contact details from msn and email you. I love him so much and he swears on his childrens lives that he has not chatted to women on here.Should I believe him? This is eating me up and causing a lot of problems.
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reader, TJ +, writes (5 May 2005):
You have to ask yourself, deep down do you believe him? If you do then you should try and make time for him in other ways. remember the times when you first got together, what was it that drew you together in the first place and try and revisit those times with him. Also try and find out why he isn't interested, is he stressed or is something else wrong? Maybe he feels that you are following a routine that he is getting bored of and he wants variety back in his relationship. If the case is that you do not believe him then you have to start thinking of a life without him as if he is telling lies now then it will not get better. Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2005): Two things...1. If you are being too hard on him wanting sex all the time and has problems getting aroused it is cos you're being to pressuring on him and he is going later to avoid it.Or2. If that isn't the case and he was OK before he done this chatting on the internet, reason why he might have problems getting aroused because he doesn't feel the same for you and like a girl on the internet more then you.
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reader, tammy +, writes (5 May 2005):
If your partner has trouble getting aroused maybe you two should go through this together. Talk, go to the doctor's appoiments etc. See if it helps. You're not doing anything wrong but if you have a gut feeling then I suggest you follow it whereever it may lead, but be careful, he could be telling the truth and he might not take to kindly to it.
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