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Shouldn't he pay for the toys?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 December 2010) 11 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2010)
A female Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My internet friend would like me to purchase a suction dido 10 inch, anal beads and anal butt plug to take with me on my holiday to see him and for me to use prior to my departure on Skype.

I'm feeling hesitant considering I have never met him that shoudn't he be paying for the toys? He did say he would reimburse me for the toys when I arrive to meet him but I'm just not sure.

Any advice please ?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 December 2010):

Honeypie agony auntWell done!

I don't think he wants a woman, he wants a fantasy. Sounds rather creepy to be honest. I think you just got yourself out of a potentially bad situation.

And good for you. NEVER go with a person you don not feel safe with and NEVER sell yourself short.

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A male reader, Fionnlagh New Zealand +, writes (28 December 2010):

Fionnlagh agony auntI think sex is a great thing between two people that ‘actually’ care for one another. Otherwise, don’t sell yourself to strangers, and not so easily online. I’m glad you’re finally rational enough to want to know a few more answers.

And if you do still end up meeting this guy in the future, bring that cucumber and bonk him on the head!

Impotence doesn’t turn people into chauvinist assholes.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (28 December 2010):

Abella agony auntWell done, yes, I think you have sussed him out.

I guess some people enjoy it, I don't know, but it seems the submissive person is put into a very vulnerable position by the other person, who wants to have all the control over the situation and the control over the demands imposed on the submissive one .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Dear readers who responded to my question. I would like to provide you with an update and thank-you very much for your support. It has made me feel stronger about myself and that I need to start to respect myself more. I wish it was easier than what it is. I told the guy who wanted me to purchase the toys that I would prefer it if he purchased them. He responded with "I will when I get back to Sydney. Apparently he is on holidays at present. His mext response was "On that note your task is to find the longest fattest cucumber for when I get back"

I told him that I had researched anal sex and I did not wish to over stretch myself as it can lead to incontinence. I was surprised at his reaction. I thought that he would tell me to forget it but he didn't. He has now zoomed in on me arriving to Sydney and the fact that as soon as I get off the plane and back on it that I am there to please his cock and do what he wants when he wants. He said he wants a submissive woman.

I emailed him and said that I would not be doing anything with him until I met him in a public place, got to know him, felt comfortable and that I wouldn't be going anywhere alone with him until I felt safe. I also said that I don't want to be pressured. Haven't heard back as yet. And I don't really care anymore. I have no idea how he thinks he can get a women like this because the more he pressures me the more I feel like backing off. I'm starting to wonder whether he is simply into voyarism and that is why he is on one of those dating sites with his request to "Flirt with a woman" Perhaps he is impotent?

Anyway I've decided that enough is enough and I am not going to be going on Skype ever again.

Thanks again readers. Will keep you updated if you would like me to.

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A female reader, No watered down advice here! United States +, writes (27 December 2010):

No watered down advice here! agony auntI just shaking my head for real! I can't believe you would actually consider doing this! WOW! And NO!!! don't buy the toys and don't do the live sex.

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A male reader, Nithyanala Indonesia +, writes (27 December 2010):

Nithyanala agony auntIt's not about whether he should be paying for the toys but about whether you should be doing this in the first place for someone you only know online. Meet the guy (be safe), get to know him, and then, if and only if you still feel comfortable with him, let him buy stuff for you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 December 2010):

Honeypie agony auntSorry correction.. should have said I WOULDN'T Buy.....

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 December 2010):

Honeypie agony auntNo, I would buy a darn toy or do a web show either.. YOU do know that he can "tape" a Skype session and then post the little movie on the net for the world to see?? and there is NOTHING you can do to remove them?

I think if he wants to see that in action you two can go shopping when you get there and IF you are willing to do so.

I agree with Truffles as well, you don't really KNOW this guy.

Let me tell you a story. I used to play an online MMO game and hung out with a bunch of people online and one of them we ALL thought was a woman, "she" and I clicked pretty well and we talked often until, "she" slipped up. We did a Secret Santa where we all would pull someone from a "virtual hat" and send them a little something... As it turned out I got "HER" but I had no clue as it was a guys name. Another friend (who was in charge of the addresses) made a map (goggle map) with the pins with all the guild members. Well, long story short.. someone googled "her" and find out that SHE is a HE and is a registered sex offender who at 18 had raped a handicapped 12 year old. Needless to say, I was pretty disgusted. I have kids myself and I absolutely HATE & DESTED child molesters.

People online aren't always who you think they are.

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A male reader, Fionnlagh New Zealand +, writes (26 December 2010):

Fionnlagh agony auntToys aside (of course you shouldn't be paying or doing shit for this guy); how are you taking a holiday to see him still, knowing he's comfortable with pressuring a woman he's never met into f*cking herself on a web-cam on the world wide web?

Goodluck to you and I really hope he's just being witty or something and turns out to be a nice guy and all, but if I was one of your friends, I'd have your back on this one.

Falling in love is an amazing experience for anyone to go through, and sex talk is exciting fun, but not at the expense of your dignity. Who the hell does this guy think he is?

I agree with 'Abella', take notice of his reactions.

Take things slow lady, trust your own feelings and you should never feel afraid to say 'no' when you want to. It's your life you know.

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A female reader, truffles74 Australia +, writes (26 December 2010):

I have be online dating for a while now and I can tell you that every man I have talked to via skype or email or messaging, txt or phone has been completely different when I met them face to face. the guy could be a sex offender for all you know. I use to work for a prison and a few of the sex offenders I met were really attractive and well spoken and didnt fit the profile.

I agree with Abella above. move on dont waste your time with this guy he has no respect for you

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (26 December 2010):

Abella agony auntpurchase nothing for him. Tell him you are no servant. He can purchase his own toys on his own internet with his own money.

If he reacts badly forget him.

Don't you think those are slightly risque things to ask of a woman to buy for him, when he hardly knows you? What is he planning a film to be shown on the internet?

Just asking you to buy those things tells

you where his mind is.

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