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Should you marry a guy who is not your type?

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Question - (18 February 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Should you marry guy if he is not really your type and he is trying to be who you want to be with?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010):

It depends on what you mean by your type.

If it's just something like your type is blonde and he has dark hair, then I would say that doesn't matter. Or is it as a person he is not your type?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the replies!!

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (18 February 2010):

mystiquek agony auntNo, you should not. He shouldn't be trying to be someone or something that he isn't. You either love him as he is, or you don't. There really isn't any grey area there. In the end, you'll both wind up miserable.

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (18 February 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntI'm confused. Either you love the guy, or you don't love him.

If you don't love him, then hell no, don't marry him. You're setting him up for heartbreak.

Unless you're a gold digger.

I sense that he's a really good person and you feel guilty about rejecting him after he's tried so hard to make you happy.

If you don't love him, you don't love him. Maybe your feelings will change one day, but you shouldn't marry someone you don't love.

If you don't love him, tell him you're not ready for marriage. Rejection hurts, but if you were to marry him then he would be committed to a woman who doesn't love him for life and possibly miss out on his chance to be with a woma who reciprocates his feelings.

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A female reader, MonksDaBomb United States +, writes (18 February 2010):

MonksDaBomb agony auntNot really sure what you're asking - is he trying to make you something he wants you to be? Marriage is a very serious decision - one not to be taken lightly. You should marry someone that you love with all your heart and can put his needs ahead of your own.

Here's a question you can ask yourself to see if he is the one to marry: can you picture spending the rest of your life with this man, or will he just drive you crazy. You don't go into specifics about how you and this guy get along - if you get into lots of fights, it will only get worse when you're married. The saying is true that opposites attract, but you have to have SOME things in common.

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