A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have had major relationship problems with my boyfriend which have mostly revolved around intimacy/sex.My partner has revealed that he thinks non-sexual things should make up 90 per cent of a relationship and that sexual things should be 10 per cent. No matter what I say he thinks I see it the other way around.We only have sex when he wants to and it actaully breaks me on the inside. I don't think a relationship is mostly about sex, in fact I don't even see the relevance. I love him and want to have sex with him. I never thought until now that could be such a bad thing.What do people think? Should physical intimacy play a minor role in a relationship. Should it be quality time and other stuff that make up the most of it? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009): sex is a major part of a relationship without it you may as well just be friends. if its not working in the bedroom then it will hurt the relationship and that is why people use sites like these. There is nothing wrong with you wanted to be close with him that the whole point you should just talk about until he understands.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses. My partner is a number of years older but I am not sure that is the issue. I agree that it shouldn't all be in his control and that I should at least sometimes have some say. This issue has broken us up before and I always end up feeling like me wanting intimacy is the problem. He just doesn't seem to understand.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): No matter how much of the relationship is devoted to sex, it should never be in the sole control of one of the partners. He either has a control issue or he is extremely selfish, neither which is a good thing in a relationship.
You should be able to initiate sex when you want it. That doesn't mean it will come to fruition 100% of the time, but at a minimum 50%-75% of the time! This is a very bad indicator of what kind of future you have with this man. I would be giving serious consideration to moving on!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): for me sex (and intimacy/kissing/hugging/caressing) and the frequency thereof is a major part of my marriage- it bonds both myself and my hb (at least on my part anyway) and it is the one thing connecting us exclusively. for a young man if there is almost no sex in a relationship i think something is lacking, it doesn't matter whether you are in a hetro/bi/gay relationship. the intimacy is the glue that bonds a couple. if you two are not understanding this aspect then maybe you are not in the best suited relationship. how much older is your partner?
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