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Should I try to work on this relationship?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 January 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 January 2011)
A male Canada age 36-40, *ohntran writes:

Love ! What should I do ?

Hi , I am 28 years old, accountant . I live in Canada and traveled to Vietnam last month to visit family. During the last 2 weeks there, I met this girl 20 years old, not really well educated and from a poorer family compare to mine. We were going to the club and my friend introduced her to me. I like her from the first sight, she is tall and pretty. My friend told me she doesn't have bf , I couldn't believe it. So we really had fun together at the club, after that I drove her home by her bike. We went to eat noodle and we just keep staring at each other until the noodle turn really cold and greasy. She wants to take me home first but I decided to take her home and go home by taxi by myself. I tried to kiss her when we say good bye but she refused. I came home. After that day , we saw each other a lot. I took her go to park , bar, eating. We were hand in hand and kissing ,hugging. I took her to the beach and stay there for 3 days. We slept together.

I went back to Canada ,I called her everyday . I asked her why you don't have a bf, she told me she loved someone at 16 and she was pregnant with him. He took her to the hospital to get an abortion.I don't know why she agreed to do that (she were crying when telling me this, I couldn't ask, I was in so much pain) . He (her bf) wanted to keep it secret but she told her family. Her family got angry took her to another city to be faraway from that man. I love her so much , I want to be the first person to be with her. She asked me why I love her , I told her you are the most beautiful person in the world. I asked her the same question : she told me when she with me she feels peaceful.

She sent me an email yesterday telling me to stop. She said she love me but she wants me to meet a better girl. I told her not to worry and I will try to work hard to come to back to Vietnam next year. I said to her if she still think that she can make me happy , then don't stop. I keep calling her for the last few days and don't feel the same. I was not happy . I feel down when think of her. I want her to tell me she love me but it seem like it's impossible.

I need an advice here, Thank you!

View related questions: abortion, kissing

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011):

You should tell her exactly how you feel face to face or move the relationship along a little.

Every girl in a relationship doubts if they are good enough for the boy you just have to prove her wrong. You just have to figure out how. And if you really care about her and love her then just tell her, and ride out the rought parts, i mean its all worth it in the end. Right?

Hope i helped! x Good luck.

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A female reader, leylaness United Kingdom +, writes (26 January 2011):

leylaness agony auntThis girl obviously has a very low opinion of herself. Women who go through abortions when they don’t really want to, often suffer with guilt and find it hard to let go of grief. Not only has she lost a child but her family pulled her away from her home to somewhere else. Don’t push this girl into a relationship, you are ready for one but she needs to learn to trust a guy again. She might say she trusts you but she will be worried about what will happen if she falls pregnant again. She needs to work on herself worth before she put herself on the line and get into a relationship, if you relay want to help her be her friend encourage her to go and see a councillor and see how things go. Don’t tell he about relationships let her make the first move or you will just scare her away

Good luck xxx

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