A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my wife have been married about 2 years now and we have a beautiful baby girl. However recently our sex life seems to have plummeted. Nowadays I can be romantic and seduce her, or I can come close to begging, yet she rarely ever will accept my 'offers' to have sex. In fact the only time she has had sex with me in the past few months is after a few good nights on the town in which both of us were drunk.My wife is great don't get me wrong. We hardly ever argue and generally get along great. but lately it just seems like the only time she's attracted to me sexually is when we are both drunk. I never put any pressure on her regarding sex and I've tried talking to her about my concerns but she gets extremely defensive. I am just worried that she isn't attracted to me... Or worst of all, she's attracted to someone else.Thoughts/advice would be much appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): The thing is life has chanced. You are not just a couple, having a baby chages things particularly in the early months. Tireness can come into it, and the consentration on the baby can take up a lot of energy. I would not be too worried about it. For a lot of couples this is very natural.
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Most couples often experience a plummet in their sexual lives after a baby enters the picture. All attention and focus is on taking care of the baby and so there is rarely anytime for you and her time.
So you need to make time. Nap time or put the baby down and just lay in bed holding your wife, having a new baby in the house is no easy task, especially if it's your first child because everything is new and off schedule.
Making time for you two as a couple is important too and that will become more available as your daughter gets a little older, when she starts sleeping through the night for instance. Just give it sometime, I'm sure your wive's intimacy drive will kick in after she gets a tune up.
Good luck to you man. And congratulationsD!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 January 2011):
I think the key to this mystery is 'beautiful baby girl'. I'm willing to bet that your sex life has plummeted because if that.
She might be tired (let's face it, having a baby it pretty tiring. 9 months of carrying a baby followed by breastfeeding, sleepless nights, crying, frustration, possible depression - the list is endless). Or, she might well be hugely underconfident about her body (hence why she does it when she's drunk). A baby does change a woman's body entirely, from the size of boobs, to the smoothness of skin. And it can come as a shock, so women can suddenly become very underconfident.
I don't think you need to worry about her not being attracted to you - I'm sure she is. And I don't think you need to worry about her fancying someone else.
I think you need to stop worrying about sex (no matter how frustrating), and kind of start dating her all over again, just going out, just having fun. Help build her confidence up and make sure she gets a break from the baby so she can rest. Give it time.
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