A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright, so I have a very tight-knit group of friends, about 8 other guys. We've all been close for over a year now. I have a good friend, who is a girl, we'll call her Martha. She went out with my guy friend, we'll call him Sam, for a year. They broke up about 2 months ago, and everyone could tell that they had just grown uninterested (which Martha also confirmed) by the last few months as they slowly faded out. I've liked Martha since before her and Sam went out over a year ago, and quite honestly was waiting out her and Sam's relationship, although I never vocalized or hinted at that to anyone. At a party about 3 weeks after Martha and Sam had officially been broken up (she ended it), one of Martha's closest friends told me Martha wanted to hook up with me. So I went to look for her, and eventually found her and walked with her for 5 hours into the wee hours of the morning. Before we said goodbye, we hooked up. I saw her again the next night where we hung out for hours and hooked up again.We've since been going out for about a month now, without any of my guy friends knowing, except for my two closest friends. Sam has no idea and I'm not entirely sure how he'll react when I tell him, which I plan on doing eventually. Martha and I will be attending the same college next year, while Sam will be 2 hours away. So, we do both plan on this being more than just a summer fling.We've had to sneak around in a relationship for the last month and it's gotten really annoying. I want to tell Sam soon, but I'm afraid of how much things may change between not just me and him, but also my other guy friends, within just a few minutes. Sam was upset about his and Martha's breakup, despite the fact that it was a foregone conclusion they would be breaking up before the end of the summer and going off to different colleges.I don't feel as guilty as I think i should, though. I see why Sam would be upset upon finding out, but the way i see it, I've liked Martha for so long, Im not going to give up on her and the potential we have altogether just because she went out with my friend. I know I could lose some friends over this, but the ones whom I suspect I'd lose over this aren't my closest friends.Any advice????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): Why not it seems to be the norm nowadays,someone i know did the same thing and they had a baby together,didnt last very long he cheated and walked out on her and the kid and felt no remorse also lost his mate in the proccess
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): Tell his as quickly as possible, but don't ask his permission- he doesn't have that right.
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