A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I am a 37 year old woman, and have been married to my husband for 4 years.We've been struggling with our marriage, but were trying very hard to make it work, and have been trying to get pregnant. We hadn't had any luck getting pregnant for 6 months, and were fighting regularly.I was making plans to leave him when I found out I was pregnant. It's both of our first child. I thought then that I should give up my selfishness and work it out for this baby.Here I am, 4 months pregnant, and I don't know if I should be honest and tell him I was going to leave him before I found out I was pregnant. He deserves to know the truth. I don't know how much I still love him anymore, and don't know how long this will last, but I want to try for the baby.Should I do tell him what I was going to do?Thanks for your help (especially from the women). Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): Thanks for the advice. I think lying by omission is not the right way to do this. I am going to discuss this with him this weekend, and tell him what has been happening. Again, thank you so much.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): He deserves to know exactly where your relationship is so yes tell him. You can both work on it from there.
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A
female
reader, Ms Me  +, writes (15 October 2010):
I agree, say nothing. You are just feeling your own guilt for thinking of leaving him and by sharing this information will not help. I think you must have been under a great deal of stress trying for a baby (I know I tried for my son for over a year..cried every month) and I think you should concentrate on your bright future as a family. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 October 2010):
Say nothing. It will destroy him. Focus on getting it together again. Say that the you feel like you both need couples counselling because you're feeling the marriage needs help, but don't say you were going to leave. Try to make this work before anything else. Don't throw a spanner in the works, because it will seriously hurt him to the point where he might suddenly decide to leave, or where he will slip into depression. And right now, you do not need that hassle.
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