A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:There is this one guy that really likes me, but I'm nervous about him finding out about my religion. I'm not saying I would date someone who would let something like that get in the way of things or bother him. I still can't rid of the butterflies though. I'm a Wiccan. There's a lot of bad mythology out there, and when i put myself out there, everyone started calling me a witch which is not synonymous to wiccan. I'm a pretty weird girl and that is just one of the thousands of reasons how so. I have know idea how he'd react if I told him. What should I do? Should I tell him if he asks or keep it to myself? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, barleysinger  +, writes (22 April 2012):
It really depends on how "in the broom closet" you are living. and where you see the relationship going. How serious is it?I have been in similar situations, although not with a person I was dating. Yes, I am also pagan (although not a Wiccan although I was eclectic Wiccan for a time many years back, even a part of an eclectic coven) I am also an ordained minister and have done counciling work, often with abused teens.* You need to ask yourself WHY it would be important to you for him to know. Not every person in your life needs to know every item of your life. * How private a person are you? There are even times when our desire to share a piece of information with othere, is more about "US' than about "THEM" and what they need to know. * Does your family already know? Do they support you?* How conservative a location do you live in?* What will happen if he tells other people?here are times when a piece of information..and the desire to share it, is more about what "YOU" or "I" might desire, than it is about what other people need.Ask yourself also, what might happen if you told him. Where do you live? How accepting are the people there? Does your family already know? There can be real unfortunate ramifications, if you come out of the "broom closet" (so to speak). There can also be ramifications to teens whose parents do not know what their kids believe, and might not be very understanding.* What would happen if you told this person about your religion and he told other people in the are where you live?This is true of *ANY* religion that is in the minority in a given locationBeing closeted in an aspect of your life is not always fun. It means hiding things when you want to be able to be open about who and what you are with everybody. Unfortunately we do not live in a world where all people are kind, and where all people are accepting. Unfortunately there are times when it is the more rational choice, or even the more kind choice, if they are people who might even be VERY emotionally upset (due to what they believe, who they are and the fact they will never change).HOWEVERThere is also something to be said for having the courage to live openly by your convictions, beliefs, etc. It is far easier to not hide things.There is however a real difference, a HUGE one, between A) outright lyingB) making an effort to actively HIDE thingsC) being rational about how munch information you share with the entire world. We do not tell every person "the color of our undies" (so to speak). Not Because the information is wrong or shameful but because it is private.Not every person on the planet NEEDS to know all there is to know about us...for instance, all our health issues, the medications we might take, the gender and name of every person we have ever kissed romantically.Some information is also beyond the ability of other people to deal with very well. We need to choose carefully what we tell to which people.The truth is that there is a difference about outright lying about a thing - but lies are very different from just NOT telling people about every aspect of your life without a reason to do it.I don't tell all my neighbors my clothing sizes. They do n't need to know about that, or how often I have sex, or all the aspects of the my life - if there is no urgent reason for them to know them.On the other hand if I were expecting to be physically intimate with a person (beyond just the sport of kissing and fun that is common with being a teenager...... and lets be honest here - there is such a thing as a relationship that is not likely to be "forever" - especially in younger people.Attraction based short term relationships are also nornal and good things...and are one of the many joyous aspects of being a normal human animal on our world.Not every relationship is a deep and long term abiding one.That saidI am a married person now, and for over 20 years (hooray) with a teenage daughter. Now that I know what it is like to have the VERY best friend that I could ever imagine, in a person who is also my lover and spouse, my co-parent and the center of my world, I am VERY aware that this kind of relationship is very different from the ones I had easlier in my life.I know this is long, and convoluted, but this is a decision YOU need to make based on how close you really are to this person and what life is like in your home and in the part of the world where you live.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 April 2012):
 I think you should always be honest to yourself and to others, so if he asks then tell him, if he has a problem with it, then it is his problem and you are better off without him.
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