A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question about sending an ex girlfriend a christmas card/gift. I broke up with her in july and havent seen her since. She contacts me once every few weeks just to talk. I regret leaving her and i wish i never did. Whenever i dont talk to her she will be the one to contact me whatever that means. Now my question is, do you think i should send her a card? My idea is to send her a card with the necklace i gave her inside of it. (When we broke up i was so angry i ripped it right off her neck) she thinks i sold the necklace but i still have it, im hoping she will be like wow he still cares. Is this too over the top? Do i just send the card with no necklace? Any opinions are appreciated, thanks..
View related questions:
broke up, christmas, ex girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 December 2011):
 I for one will be crossing my fingers for you. I like your method of proceeding patiently. Patience is a great virtue.
Best wishes
Abella
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help. My goal isnt to get her back right away, but to show her i still care. Hopefully this does that
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 December 2011):
All the things you love about her
Let's hope third time lucky I get my intended meaning across.
And all the very best to you for a great Christmas - hope it includes her too :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 December 2011):
Disagreements often do have issues on both sides. I am so glad that you patched things up of that disagreement.
Your solution, I hope, starts a thaw that you both want to happen. Best wishes with it.
By the way I need to correct one part of my post. So this is what #2 below should have said (sorry about the error - texting too quickly can lead to such things.)
2. IF she accepts your apology then hand her a letter telling her all the things YOUR love about HER. At the end of the letter leave it up to her to decide if she wants to see you in person again. Let her name the date and the venue. A public venue. A nice venue and a safe venue where she feels safe and protected
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know I was wrong to rip it off and take it. It was a heated argument on both sides and we both apologized.we made up after that argument, she wanted to keep dating but i let her free. The necklace is fixed, it meant a lot to us both, the last time i saw her she asked if she could have it back but i said no. Maybe i will save it i ncase we ever got back into things. Your're right I'm going to hold onto the necklace.I'm going to send her a card with a gift certificate for a spa.
...............................
A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 No do not send her the necklace. If my ex sent me a necklace he had ripped off my neck when we broke up, I would be reminded of why i DON'T want to be with this man ever again. If I did ever give him another chance he would have to climb mountains and jump through hoops before I would seriously consider being in a relationship with him. You need to apologise sincerely for your disgusting behaviour. I am sorry if this seems harsh, but it's true. Either buy something else, or just send a card with nothing in it. Good Luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 December 2011):
Absolutely not! Having a necklace ripped from around her neck is indeed rampant anger out of control. I understand that you were very angry at the time. But that would have been a frightening event for her.
Why would she want to be reminded of such a terrible day?
How sincere was your apology for that appalling behavior?
Even if she has contacted you from time to time. Why I do not know. It does not imply she is ready for your next outburst.
This would be my suggestion:
1. Ask if you and your ex can meet for coffee and a genuine 24 carat gold sincere totally in the wrong for reacting as you did APOLOGY?
2. IF she accepts your apology then hand her a letter telling her all the things she loved about you. At the end of the letter leave it up to her to decide if she wants to see you in person again. Let her name the date and the venue. A public venue. A nice venue and a safe venue where she feels safe and protected.
3. If all goes well then give her a Christmas Card.
BUT NO recylced necklace please.
4. Give her something you never gave her before.
5. Examples: flowers,a voucher for some pampering in a day spa. a voucher to spend in a shop you know she loves.
Walk through this posible relationship slowly. Let the trust build up.
Either sell the necklace
or give it (wrapped up) as a present under a Charity Christmas TRee labelled the age group the present is aimed at
...............................
|
