A
female
age
36-40,
*upiddear
writes:I had a one night stand two nights ago. We were at his house and I left in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to go home. During the night I had given him an old number that is disconnected because I wasn’t sure at the time if I wanted to see him again or if I wanted him to be able to reach me.The night after the one night stand I looked him up on the internet and told him the reason for me leaving in the middle of the night. Even though it was only a one night stand I didn’t want to be rude or disrespectful so I wrote a very short message. He replied saying he had been trying to reach me that day on the phone number that I had left but it was disconnected so I have him my real number and he texted and asked me out for dinner. I didn’t give him a yes or no answer but continued chatting via text. He also asked if I wanted to have coffee or go to the beach or have lunch. I am undecided about wether or not I should go out with him. I really didn’t expect him to ask me out because we both agreed that it was a one night stand on the night that it happened. He is a nice guy which is why I am actually feeling ok about the fact that we had a one night stand. Usually it is not something that I do. It is the second time I have had a one night stand. Another factor to consider is that I am currently on holiday in his town and am leaving in 5 days. He knows this.Do I go out with him again even if it is just for lunch or coffee? I can’t see the point because I am leaving so soon but on the other hand we enjoyed each other’s company and spoke for hours so I know we get on well. I’m not really interested in having sex with him again, though. Would appreciate opinions.
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not interested in sex, on holiday, one night stand, text, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (5 March 2019):
 What's the point in meeting up?
If he is looking for something more than a ONS and you are not, then don't waste his time or yours.
You don't OWE him to meet up again, or anything else.
But I will say this. DON'T give out a number that doesn't work. That is pretty childish. Just tell a guy, I don't like giving out my number.
And there was no need for you to message him an explanation as to why you left. It was a ONS you wanted to go home. End of story. No need to justify your actions there.
Pretty sure the guy isn't looking to make a new friend.
BUT, you CAN always put your cards on the table and see what he thinks. He can always decline.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2019): Simple! Make it well understood you don't intend to have sex again; and you'll be leaving soon.
Go out and enjoy dinner or a date, and move on. You can let him know that you're not interested in pursuing anything further; but nothing wrong with going to the beach, or out for some dinner. It makes things a little more above-board; and doesn't obligate you to ever see him again. It's up to you.
It seems a little more respectable than a hit and run.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2019): I don't understand. You are totally in control of this situation. You've set the boundaries, given him the means to contact you- after the fact so it must be a rational decision. You dont live in this town. So why are you asking a bunch of strangers what to do?
Everything you have done has a rational choice with mutual consent. Just continue doing that--tell him you don't want to have sex again but you'd like to meet up (if that's still the case) and if he agrees, do it.
If you are worried you'll develop feelings don't do it. If he develops them, that's his problem. Good luck.
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