A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married to my wife for just over 18 months, recently she has become really cold and unloving towards me and our intimacy is now more or less non-existant (it was fine until 6 month ago), before and even just after the wedding we spoke of having a child now she plays mind games one moment saying she wants a baby then she doesn't. She still lives with her parents and refuses to move into the family home with me. I'm at a total loss as of what to do. I love my wife but need help to either save the marriage or get the courage to leave.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 March 2009):
Something MUST have happened to this girl to make her feel this way.
She has to know that this is not normal.
I think you have to tell her that you think it's not working and you are heading for break up.
BUT you also have a duty to try everything you can to make it work before that actually happens.
Talk to her, ask her why she is like this? why does she not want to live with you?
I really think the whole baby thing has to be off the table, however much you want one, you have to have a stable happy marriage first so tell her that you want to work things out for a year before you even try for a child.
It could be the pressure to have a baby is what is keeping her away. And having a baby basically ends your life for at least 7 years so she may not want that.
Sit her down and have a serious talk. Suggest counselling if that would help. (Put RELATE into google)
This really sounds like there is a fixable issue here but you don't seem to have any idea what that issue actually is so you need to find out.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, cathay  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Remember marriage is sacred. Im glad you were married im sure you loved each other very much. But the key to any good relationship is communication. Im not sure why she is not living with you but sit down and talk to her. Explain that you need her by your side. let her open up to her fears. Give her that chance. i also beleve that true love waits. be patient with her. break her like her horse. slowly let her see things the way you do.......
Good luck!
Love Cathy....
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