A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:should we end this marriage?I've been with my husband for six years,it's like my life is over there's nothing to look forward to,sex is alway's the same no forplay no waiting for a woman to get horney,it's stick it in get off and dont worrie if anyone else enjoyed it.then when he get around another man he's the king cock.life is always going to do this or that,spend life wishing things were diffrent,and had a relationship that had at least something to look forward too,even going to bed and getting up theres nothing,no one to lie in bed with and make love to there's just nothing but doing all the things a wife should and having nothing any kind of life.the thing is I love him and keep thinking things will change but I'm growing older and very unhappy,at times I wish I werent married,because I know there is men out there that want romance and want to do more in life than watch t.v. they want a woman to make happy in the bed room ,it's time I do something to change my life,how can I get my husband to change I love him and belive that he loves me but this is getting really old. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2011): It seems you are in rough patch of relationship. it will pass. do not break your head on unnecessary worries ( as long as he has another women etc etc ). I always maintain, more sex has never been solution to humans, and it will never be. our society got more sexualized in last 50 years, but did it solve the relationhpips?
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (23 September 2011):
 It sounds like you are going through a rough patch right now and it also sounds like you've let a lot of resentment build up, to the point where you are now angry and consider leaving.
I need to ask, have you spoken with your husband about your dissatisfaction with your marriage? I am under the assumption that your husband thinks everything is great and unless you vocalize your needs, nothing will change. Guys aren't mind readers and I'll be honest, most of the time we are pretty clueless about the state of our relationships.
As far as your sex life goes, it seems that once the wedding rings go on, that part of the life goes dull and routine. I am sure back in the day you knew how to seduce your husband and your husband knew how to seduce you. Otherwise, you'd likely not have married him.
Why not go back to those same feelings? Make a date night and make it a special time by doing something different. Dress up to the 9's and have a nice dinner somewhere and perhaps have a hotel setup for yourselves. It just takes a little bit of effort and in that sort of environment, your husband is likely to take his time making love to you rather than the usual mundane variety.
Divorce is emotionally and financially draining -- plus all the damage is does to your children (if any). Ultimately, only you can decide if that is the price you are willing to pay for your "freedom". (The single life isn't as great as it would seem) I hope you give it a good effort to rekindle what you had with your husband before deciding to pull the plug on it.
Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 September 2011):
Well, don't end the marriage yet. When you started your post, you seemed to want to end it. At the end of your post, it seemed like you wanted to make a go of it.
First thing, you can't change him. He has to change himself.
Bearing that in mind, I think the best thing you can do now is to sit down and tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him everything that was in this post. Tell him you're unhappy with the lack of romance, he lack of foreplay, the lack of attention, the sudden ego trips he gets, that you're bored and unhappy. Tell him that you absolutely want things to change in your marriage, or that it will come to and end.
And, most importantly, tell him that you love him and that you want this marriage to work, hence why you're telling him all this.
Then, either he will decide that this marriage is worth fighting for and he will change his own behaviour for his sake. Or nothing will change, and then you'll have reason to end it.
It sounds like this marriage is still perhaps worth fighting for, if he's willing to fight for it with you. If he's not, then it's done and you'll need to move on from him.
...............................
A
male
reader, cian  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 I understand that your relationship is now at a point where it seems the romance has fled it. While this alone isn't a legal reason to end a marriage in the USA, and while it doesn't sound like you have irreconcilable differences to date, I conclude that your best option would be an attempt to bring the romance back. Take a weekend, go away together, leave any kids behind, have a conversation, (a real conversation about needs and wants, pros and cons), a bottle of red or white, and bring along a sex enhancement device like a back massager.Make the weekend about each-other. No Golf, no whatever...And if this doesn't help re-spark what you have, google up some other ways to re-light the spark. And if you truly think it is gone, ask yourself if it's love you share, or just a dependency. I hope that you find even one glimmer of love left. Use that to your advantage.
...............................
|
