A
female
age
36-40,
*0nadya0x
writes:I just want to know, is this my fault?I have been on and off with this man for 5 years. He is the only man i've loved in 5 years.We just got back together and things (I thought) were going really well for the past 3 months. He had told me he was serious about me, and we were spending a lot of time together. There wasn't just 3 months, but 5 years of history.My cycle has been irregular for the past month or so, I don't know why. Anyway, a week and a half ago, I told him that my period is 2 weeks late, because I was worried. When I told him I just wanted to know what his reaction would be if I were. I needed to know because I have no family around where I live, I don't live in my own flat, I just rent a room. I ALWAYS take my birth control correctly and he knows this. Anyway, when I asked him, he said he is not telling me his reaction incase I use it as an insurance policy. I was EXTREMELY upset and affended by this and when I told him so, he hung up on me. I haven't heard from him since even though I've asked if we can drop the whole thing and move forward. Is this my fault????? Should I have not mentioned it????? I think i should have waited until I knew either way (it was negative). It's been about 10 days and nothing and it makes no sense because everything was going great and I'm a complete mess now. Devastated, can't eat, can't sleep. I've called in sick to work. I am just gutted, I really love him. Any advice would be so much appreciated. xxx
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (6 January 2011):
 If there was a chance you could be pregnant I don't see why you should tell him. WHY should you be the only one freaking out and being scared/exited to find out?
This is not about him though. Why are YOU letting a guy treat you this way? After 5 years he should know you a Lot better and support you, pregnancy or not. Guess what? if it HAD been positive it would have been his.
I don't think your guy is a "keeper".
A
female
reader, x0nadya0x +, writes (6 January 2011):
x0nadya0x is verified as being by the original poster of the question hi,
i did think i was pregnant because my period was 2 weeks late and it never has been before. x
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Well it's always a risky little game asking things like that just to see what your partners response would be. You probably shouldn't have mentioned it until you thought you may be pregnant but hindsight is a wonderful thing and you can't go back and change things now.
I could understand if he'd been a bit freaked out. You've not been back together long so you're still working on making your reltionship strong but this reaction is a bit extreme, especially considering the fact you are not actually pregnant! What if you had of been? It doesn't sound to me like he would have been mature enough to step up to his responsibilities. If he's going to freeze you out over every little thing then maybe it's time to rethink the relationship? You've obviously had problems before seeing as you say you've been on/off for 5 years. My guess is even if he comes back after this, he'll go running again at the next sign of trouble.
You are placing your happiness in his hands which is a dangerous thing, pick yourself up and gain some confidence and self respect and only then will your relationship decisions be more well informed. Go back to work, go out with the girls etc. You may not feel like doing it but it'll take your mind off of things. You've done what you can and the balls in his court now so don't waste anymore time sitting around pining for him!
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