A
male
age
36-40,
*ermal
writes:So my fiancee of five months and I decided that we were going to move in together and get married soon. The thing is, she had to use a ruse to get out of her mother's house (lots of issues between her and her mother) and, once her mom found out the real deal, promptly drove all the way from Michigan to Georgia to violently (yes, violently) retrieve her. How she got my address is anyone's guess, since NO ONE knows what it is, but that's another issue entirely.Ever since she pulled my fiancee away from me kicking and screaming, I have not heard from her. A friend of hers has contacted me and let me know that she spoke to my fiancee and that she is on complete lockdown, as her mother doesn't allow her to do much of anything to contact me (e-mail, phone, etc.). Her eldest sister purposely damaged her cell phone so she couldn't call me even if she wanted to.My issue is, it's been two weeks and I don't know how long it would take for her mom to cool down and allow my fiancee and I to communicate with each other, much less see each other again. Should I continue to hold out and wait, without knowing when or if we'll ever speak again? Or should I cut my losses and let it/her go? Let it be known that we were truly in love and if I were to leave it/her behind on account of the circumstance, I wouldn't ever want to invest my time and energy into a relationship again because 1) I don't want to be with anyone if it's not her, and 2)I don't think I'd want to put my all into something else only for it to go up in smoke again. I know "love is a gamble", but sheesh.I understand there was a "right" way and a "wrong" way to have gone about our decision to move in together but for the record, what with the cultural differences and personal issues my fiancee's family has, ANYTHING we'd have done to start a life together would've been "wrong", even if it was "right". For the record, my fiancee is 19 and an adult and can (legally) do what she wants, but apparently not much with a physically/mentally abusive mother around.Again, it's been weeks and I'm starting to lose my mind worrying about her but I don't want to hold out hope for something that'll never happen. What should I do? Thank you in advance!
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (27 September 2008):
Hang on, when a 19 yearold woman is violently dragged into a car against her will and then kept prisoner in a house....Isn't that kidnapping?Why don't you ring the police?Just because it is a blood relative committing the crime, that doesn't make it legal.Don't just abandon this girl. She could be counting on you as her only chance of rescue.Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): I feel for you.My situation was almost exactly like that. My exs mom took her away from me and forbid all contact with me all together.. Now 7 months later my ex finally can't take it anymore and just said it's over between me and her, basically she let her mom win, and now I'm betting her mom is happier than ever..Some mothers just never give up.. but you shouldn't give up on her. Try your hardest to contact her, try and meet up with her somehow, make another email account and talk to her like that, something.. Don't let her be manipulated by her mother to the point where you can't bring her back from it.Just don't give up unless you're forced to give up, or unless she gives in.. If you know she truly loves you, and she does, she won't give in to her mothers demands, and will eventually find a way to fight back..It's only been a couple of weeks.. If your feelings for her are as strong as you're saying, you'll wait as long as it takes right? Well just wait it out, and also keep up trying to contact her.
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