A
female
age
51-59,
*ink cadillac
writes:My boyfriend of 1 yr.., is planning of moving to las vegas and he wants me to move with him? Which means that we will be moving in together. aS MUCH As I like the idea but at the same time it makes me wonder if he ever has plan of marrying me. I dont want to push the marriage issue because the last time I did, we had a huge argument about it and he said not to mention marriage again. It worries me that if I move in with him tHEN I may ended up just his "eternal girlfriend". I dont want TO be someone else live in partner.. I want to be married. Please help! should I move in or not.. do i have to ask him if we have the same goal on marriage before moving in or should I just wait.. and just let the relationship develops nicely...thank you! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (11 March 2011):
 you are correct he is not intending to marry you. If you can bite your tongue, not raise subjects he will not discuss, accept that intends to only ever regard you as the 'woman he lives with' then stay with him.
He is offering you no guarantees.
So the choices are:
1. Go through all the upheaval of moving to Vegas and live with him until he gets sick of you (marriage will not be the only subject he bans as a conversation topic) and trades you in for a younger model (no pun intended)
Or
2. While you are still under 40 break up with him and find a guy who will be able to accept you, love you and cherish you. Choose a wonderful man who treasures and loves you and cannot imagine not wanting to be married to you.
Then develop trust and rapport with
a new man to ensure that there is NO subject that is 'out of bounds'.
Because in real relationships you do get to talk about anything, and be honest, and have great trust between the two of
you.
Sometimes to make something better rise from the ashes of the phoenix we need to be very brave and take a chance (i do not mean meekly following this non-
marryin' man to Vegas)
But before you start looking again do create your criteria of your ideal man, the deal breakers you will not accept. And pay particular notice of his actions, not just his words.
It is a very tough call.
Your call. And your destiny is in your hands.
Best Wishes
Abella
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 March 2011):
 I'd ask. Even if the relationship should develop nicely,
some people just do not want to get married. They don't believe in marriage, or marriage is not a prority for them and , without totally excluding it, they keep postponing till " the right moment " which may come after 10 or 20 years !
So you WOULD be stuck as the live -in partner that you don't want to be, and you could not even complain because he'd say : hey I never told you I was gonna marry you.
If marriage is a non-negotiable for you, then you have to check you are ( or will be in the next future ) on the sama page.
...............................
|
