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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hey Cupids! So, my bf and I have been together for 5 years now and he's thinking of moving in with me. I'd love to get married cos I love the guy and I think living together is just not enough of a commitment. He says he doesn't believe in marriage but he's willing to marry me in 1 and half/2 years after living together and see how it works out. The idea of having him in my own house, having to cook dinner, do the laundry and see him every single day and nite is a little overwhealming but that's not the point. Point is: do you think what he's saying makes sense? Should I let him move in then hope things will be alright to eventually get married? Or do you think a man who's in love should propose on his kness with a huge rock instead of saying "I'll marry you to make you happy, but I love you anyway, married or not married". Do you think I'll be feeling "tested" every single day?Do you think he loves me? Do you think we'll actually ever marry? Do you think I'm just paranoid? ;-) Thank you, sweetiepies!
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 You already have a clear answer from the man regarding how he feels about marriage.
He says he doesn't believe in marriage
Are you hoping that living together will magically make him think marriage is a good idea? Not likely dear.
It sounds like he wants all the benefits of marriage (your home, your care, your provisions) without offering much in return (compared to what you already have now.) Gee, how generous of him give you a "chance" to try and proove yourself to be worth the risk of being a wife.
My suggestion: NO moving in unless you are fine that things could NEVER change. IF he moves in, make sure since it is YOUR home, what the expecations are. Who pays for what, who does what chores, etc. You may even want to draw up a legal document stating who is responsible for what.
Listen to your instincts-if you are feeling overwhelmed and not ELATED at the idea of taking care of this man every day..the idea of cohabitating is NOT for you.
Best Wishes.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 June 2011):
 ugh i don't like it... i don't like the vibe of "if it works in 1 1/2 years I'm WILLING to marry you"
can I take a bet on the fact that he won't?
IF marriage is that important to you then NO i would not let him move in and play house in the HOPES that he will do what YOU want which is get married.
he may love you and still not want to get married....
i have been married 3 times... and i swore i'd never get married again... i bet in 3 years time I'll be married to my current bf... he who professes to never wanting to get married... but I know for us it's already come up as something that will probably happen.
with you, is he asking to move in with you? I personally would say NO IF the only reason you are doing it in hopes that he will marry you... for me I want my man there every day cooking and cleaning whether or not we ever get married.
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