A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Basically, what do i do now?I have known and been close friends with a guy for a year. We speak every day by text / phone and I see him a few times a week. We get on really well but there has always been the impression amongst people that we have feelings for each other. He has definitely been flirting with me in the past, he texts me late at night, when hes out, calls me things like "babe" and touches me quite a lot (arm around shoulders, waist, hugging me etc). Nothing has actually happened further than that.I have recently gotten drunk and admitted that I have feelings for him. I felt like I should back this up when sober so he came round and we attempted to discuss it. Im now certain its perfectly clear but all he has said is "i understand". He didnt make an opinion either way.I have thought about telling him for months, but didnt because he has a girlfriend and I felt it was unfair on everyone. However, ive seen the way he acts with her (and her with him). She is very patronising, she pats him on the head and puts him down. People told me, if you like him, let him have a choice (since he might feel trapped).I feel like maybe I have been unfair, but the impression he's given me in the past has suggested to me, and multiple outsiders that he likes me. And the way he has acted has caused me to like him.So, now, what do I do? I realise he probably needs time to think it over, but I feel completely in limbo. I know its not a good idea to contact him but I feel lost, even though its only been one day! I just want everything to be ok between us. Please dont tell me I was wrong to tell him, before my friend died she told me if you have feelings for someone you have to tell them, one day it is going to be too late so dont waste opportunities.Thanks for your help
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female
reader, Lotsalove.  +, writes (7 August 2010):
 Well your late friend is right, If you do have feelings for someone you have to tell them.. BUT you must make sure it's not going to make the situation alot more difficult. Is he in love with his girlfriend? Does he want to get out of the relationship? Does he actually have feelings for you? You say you've been talking for a year.. You have to ask yourself, if their relationship isnt working, Why are they still together after a year? Why hasnt he left her for you? He may have feelings for you, but he may also just be another guy that loves his girlfriend but loves the attention of other women too.
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