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Does physical chemistry have to be mutual to happen?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 January 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 October 2009)
A female , anonymous writes:

A Question in general...

On the experience do you think that chemistry between two people can only happen when there is a deep mutual attraction or do you believe in one sided chemistry?

Can one individual feel an intense connection and chemistry whilst the other person doesn't feel it at all? or to feel that do you believe it needs to be a mutal thing?

Just interested in what people think on this topic?

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A male reader, blueeyes786 United States +, writes (30 October 2009):

I had the same question. I love this person very much. I felt this attraction from the time our eyes met. I felt chemistry and sparks. I cannot imagine being without this person. This last Saturday, my son and I went where this person works and when our eyes met briefly(my son was there)I could feel the excitement and the chemistry and when my hand brushed the lint off this person's yeeshirt I felt hard right away and my heart was pounding. I don't know if chemistry happens to just one person-I always thought it was between two people for chemical reaction to happen, for electricity to happen, it has to be between two people,right?

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A female reader, Roxy1989 Australia +, writes (23 April 2009):

Roxy1989 agony auntI know true love doesn't have to be fulled with chemistry,but then you are best friends,right? Its nice to just have passion and lust for one another and still make eachother laugh and trust eachother... even if it doesnt last forever its definitly worth the trip ..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2006):

One-sided chemistry or an instant 'lust, happens all the time. And, no, I don't think it has to be a mutal thing. I'll explain. Over the long run, chemistry is one teeny-tiny aspect of long-lasting true love...but the most unreliable one. There is an profound difference between instant attraction and true love. An instant attraction or 'lust' can and will bind us to the right people but it can bind us to the wrong people when the sparks fly. This is a big mistake many of us make...we 'expect' instant sexual attraction. A true love consists of a committment, compatibility and a slow burning chemistry, that builds over a long period of time. I have seen many men and woman who are friends for years and suddenly, they marry and these marriages lasted. So if one person doesn't feel the chemistry at the beginning....they can over time. Sexual chemistry can rock a person's world but so many people fall into that trap, that if they don't fall 'under it's spell' in the beginning, they give up on a potentially wonderful long lasting relationship. Sadly, that expectation of instant intense passion can and will keep people single for years. There are so many well-matched people out there who have split up...all because they made the fatal mistake of thinking fading chemistry is fading love. What I have learned over the years, you must embrace instant chemistry but be very, very aware of it's limitations. Just my opinion and a different..take care.

Hugs, Irish

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2006):

willywombat agony auntYes, I agree largely with what Rebecca B said. Unrequited love/lust would be the outcome of one sided attraction. If it is a mutual thing then the individuals concerned are very, very lucky. x

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A reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (30 January 2006):

Rebecca Batchelor agony auntIt certainly helps if both people feel the chemistry and can be pretty unpleasent if only one feels it but entirely possible.

For example, if two people feel the mutual spark of lust, love and many other euphoric feelings, then their relationship (provided it isn't based only on sex) can be extremely successful.

If one person is greatly attracted to another but that person isn't remotely interested in them, then this can be very painful for the individual who fancies them like crazy. You must have heard of unrequited love and this is very similiar although perhaps could be referred to as unrequited lust!

Indeed it is possible to feel an intense connection to someone while they don't feel that way at all. That person could be involved with someone else or just hadn't ever looked at that individual in that way.

Hope this helps!

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