A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:our relationship has lasted almost two months...in the beggining he was so great i thought i could find nothing better then this and this was all i ever dreamed of in a guy but then exactly after a month hit we started arguing over the silliest things....still to this day do and it sux because i wanted to be the perfect girlfriend for him...but the problem isnt me its him....he always plays with me and the main issue i have is he thinks he is so sexy he is but the bad part is he knows it and he says he can get any girl he wants like that makes me feel so great about myself and recently we went thru this huge fight that lasted 3 days and it was because he ignored me for three days straight not one call....and so one night he called me so late and it took three days for me to get the thruth out of him and comes to be he was hanging out with his so called bestfriend which is a girl.....and i was really dissapointed...but then i broke up with him and of course got back together because he promised he would change his ways....about a week has gone by and its actually a little worse and the craziest thing about our relationship is at times we can be bestfriends and block out the whole world but the we could be enimes in opposite war??.... so my question is should i keep this going because i love him so much and im afraid to be with out him or should i let it go knowing how much it will hurt???....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 When I read posts like yours ( they are frequent ) I always feel both a wave of tenderness and a surge of irritation.
Tenderness because one can really feel in your words all the pain
and the confusion and the raw vulnerability- my,being so young and having to deal with such "adult ", difficult emotions. It's tough,I know.
Irritation too because , what the heck, you may be 13 or 15 , but you are not mentally ill, are you ? You do have a brain, - you can think, you can reason, you can observe and draw conclusions. You can even try to detach yourself for a sec from your emotions and have a more objective view of your situation.
So, first of all : if you know you are gonna get hurt, why hanging in there ? You would not put your hand on a beautiful flame, knowing you'll get third degree burns.
Second, this relationship has 2 months of life and it was good only for the first month. One single month- I imagine it's enough to develop an attachment, but you are hesitating in leaving a bad situation as you had spent years in it !
Third, you got himself a mini-player , maybe you don't have enough experience to spot a player right away, but
I think you already know that what you really need and want is not the boy who can get any girl ( and brags about it ), but the boy who WANTS to get just and only you.
Last but not least , " I am afraid to be without him " why ?. Don't get me wrong, I am as romantic as they come, love makes the world go round etc, but , at your age, why
do you let a boy be the be-all and end-all of your world ? What about friends ? school ? hobbies ? sports ? ... Isn'it there anything ,except romance, that can give you a sense of fulfillment and gratification ?...
Sorry if I sounded a bit preachy, but trust me, it's never too early to learn this simple truth : if it hurts, then it's not love- it's just a bad habit.
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