A
female
age
30-35,
*pinky*
writes:well im not really sure what i sohould do about my freind, we have been best freinds for 9 years now. me my family and my boyfriend have been so good to her over the years. me and my boyfreind put a roof over her head when she didnt have know where else to go, my family even threw her a birthday bash because her family didnt care it was her birthday and me and my boyfreind even set her up with a double date with us last valentines day beacuse she said she felt bad she was on her own!. but the problem? since she started seein her new boyfriend. Since she started seein this guy everything has changed, we always used to go out together we always used to go shopping together and she used to be so full of life and enegry. Now its a total didfernt story. I havent seen her since last december when i took her christmas prestent round and it really hurt when she didnt get me even as much as a card but spent well over 100pounds on her boyfriend. I know it may sound as if im jelous but im not all i want is my freind back to who she was before she met this guy. She has a well paid job yet is always asking to borrow money off me. The last time i met her we went out for a drink and her boyfrined came along and all he did was demand money all night off her for drinks and food. And i cant help but feel this guy is using her. i cant belive how much she has changed, my boyfriend and family say im a fool for sticking around and i feel the same i dont wanna be the fool she runs back to if her boyfriend ever leaves her, but i dont wanna lose my freind over a guy? what can i do? i just feel so let down and used? maybe i should just stand back and let her carry on and maybe in time she will realise she has lost a really good freind who she couldnt even spare 5mins to be with on my birthday. :( x
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (11 February 2009):
This poor girl hasn't had a great life by the sounds of it so it's no wonder she is vulnerable to guys who want to use her and control her.
All you can do is let her know that you know something is not right with her and that you will be there if she ever needs to talk.
I think you under estimate the amount of power her guy might have over her and who she can see and speak to.
Really push hard to make her meet up with you alone for a coffee and then find out what he is really like and how he treats her. Point out that she has basically not seen you in forever and that you miss her. Don't use guilt or "after everything I have done for you!" type comments as this will only push her away.
Good Luck!! xx
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