A
female
age
26-29,
roseinbloom
writes:I have had an on-off relationship with my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend for 3 years. He has broken up with me several times and we've always got back together after a few months. We do love each other but he is often inconsiderate and I find myself being angry at him often for not replying to messages, not returning calls and not suggesting we meet up- he seems to rely on me to always make the first move. I want us to settle down together but whenever it looks like we are getting somewhere he backs off and becomes aloof and cold again. I can't deal with the constant rollercoaster and uncertainty but I really love him. What should I do?
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 you both love eachother? sorry hun but i think this love is one sided - he is not treating you like someone he is in love with and is just using you and picking you up and dropping you wen he feels like it. he is acting immaure and it sounds to me like he is nowhere near being ready to committ. i think that you should try and cut all ties with him and move on - no matter how much you try it doesnt seem like this guy is going to stop treating you like this. if you really want to make it work - you need to sit him down and tell him that you are ready to committ to an adult relationship and stop playing these childish games. if he is not up for that then thats it - dont waste your time with someone who is doing all the taking and no giving. it sounds like you are 2 high school kids playing that ever elusive 'who likes who' game - and its got to stop.
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 This is not the kind of guy you settle down with! He's not ready to settle down anytime in the near future with you. When guys break up with you the way he is- it's so he can keep his options open and see other people. You love someone that is unavailable to you and waiting around for him is going to make how you feel worse, and how he treats you worse. You are going to have to struggle through the pain, date other guys, and get this one out of your head. I know you love him, but you have to make some changes in your life.
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