A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My bf has broken up with me for the 2nd time now. He would always abuse me. Now he wants me back again. My head is telling me not to take him back because he will just abuse me again and I will end up in the same horrible position I was before, if not worse. But my heart is telling me not to give up. I want him back so badly. I love him and I know that doesnt make sense to anyone on the outside, but it's how I feel. It hurts me so much to be without him...but at the same time it hurt so much being with him. He is being so nice to me right now telling me things will be better etc...I am so close to believing him because I want to see the best in him, but my gut is telling me not to trust him and take him back.I dont know what to do. I feel torn. Its hard loving someone who has caused you so much pain. I feel so conflicted. What do i do? Can an abuser ever really change? I feel like if I say no to him then i'm the bad person. I dont want to let him down or give up on us. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (4 October 2009):
Your heart is an idiot.
You know that this is such a cliche it's ridiculous.
"He says he's change!" "But I love him!!" "He's making me feel bad if I say no."
Listen to yourself and wake up.
This guy knows how to twist you and make you do anything he wants. You know that if you go back to him then you are giving him the green light to treat you like shit.
Please don't be a complete moron, and walk away from him for good.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 October 2009):
Please please listen to your head. The heart is only good when you're in a loving relationship. The rest of your time, listen to your head. No, this guy will not change. He failed to change once, so he will fail again. You ARE NOT a bad person at all. You're a good person. He's the bad person here. Don't allow yourself to be a punch bag. There are better guys out there. Give yourself time to heal, and find a better guy. Don't go back to this one, you'll just end up hurt.
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