A
female
age
41-50,
*weetnsassie
writes:I have been dating a guy for 4 months now, he is 38 and I am 37. we spend two to three nights a week together, talk and text all day everday, go hiking, play tennis, etc. I will sleep in at his house when he goes to work and he will come home on his lunch break for a quicky. I have met and hung out with his family and friends regularly. My delma is that I am getting feelings for him and he says he has feeling for me but he does not want to commit to anything serious, I know he is seeing other people and I have the option too as well but choose not too. I feel like I am waisting my time. should i let this go or see where it goes. I'm getting to old for flings.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010): After I gave him the ultimatum he called me the next day and we talked, now he says he is willing to commit but he wants more time to make sure I am the one..he wants me in his life and wants to see where it goes..I know 4 months is not a long time but I have a really hard time knowing he spends time with other people..I have the right to do so as well and he is open and honest and willing to communicate but its hard for me..I guess this is how things work now days..its a mess.. confused
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 I'd give it more time. Four months is not much of an investment and most men take longer to decide if you are "the one". Be patient. It's probably going to be worth it in the long run. It took my b/f 2 years before he knew how he felt about me (or was willing to admit it anyhow).
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 June 2010):
Bottom line is he has said he is not looking to commit, and he's seeing other woman. The longer you wait to see where it goes, the more you are going to fall for him and get very hurt. If you're looking for something more, then it's time to move on now.
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A
male
reader, twinlab99 +, writes (20 June 2010):
 Yeah, I know what you mean. Honestly, if you want the commitment and it's not there, then move on. You can't force someone, it has to be mutual. It's free will. Alsok, don't get caught up in games, if you make that decision, stick with it! Good luck.
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