A
female
age
30-35,
*oX15
writes:I have been sort of on and off for months with this guy. We actually got together in January. This is my longest relationship. Even though we've had our ups and downs, I really do love him. It took me this long to really realize that I want to be with him.I mean, I've always loved him. From the very start. But the whole idea of a serious relationship scared me. I mean, at the time, I wasn't ready to be in a relationship but he didn't understand that and I didn't want to lose him. I was still young at the time, and even though I'm still young now, I've grown alot since then, because of us. So we stuck it out. We've had a love/hate relationship, and we've hurt each other more than anything, but in the end, we still love each other. Now, I've decided that I want to be with him again. The thing is, everyone is opposed to our relationship. I live with my sister, and he already knows he won't be welcome here in MY apartment. I stress MY because Im the only who pays rent, yet my sister is older and thinks she has a say in everything that I do. Meanwhile, she's more immature and irresponsible. I know both of my sisters don't approve of him. My dad never did really approve, but what dad does? My mom didn't mind too much. She's been the only that trusted in my decisions. I'm not really one to rock the boat too much, so I guess I am sort of afraid to create controversy with this decision. The last thing I want in my life is conflict. I just wish people would mind their own business and let me live my life. It's really hard. Sometimes I cry because he's not here beside me when I fall asleep. It sounds crazy, and its crazy for me to say that. I honestly miss him with all of my heart. I live in the same apartment that he and I lived in last year, and I've been good this whole time, until we started talking again after 3 months. Then i realized just how much I missed him and how much I want to be with him. How do I let everyone know who I'm seeing, and How i can i get them to understand my decision, without them blowing up?
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female
reader, FoX15 +, writes (10 December 2009):
FoX15 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI get what you're saying soon567, and your right you really don't know the whole situation. I just didn't want to write a book on this site. And i guess it's saying something that I have to question this relationship and the decision of whether or not to move in with him.
But it's really not a matter of his character or sincerity, but a matter of my sisters got a grudge against because of what me and him both did last year. We did fight alot. It was a bad deal. We even both got physically violent, but this happened while we were both under the influence if you know what i mean. And I'm just as guilty as he. I mean, we always hear about abusive relationships, where the girl is the abused, but what about the guy? I'm not trying to justify our violence, but so many make me the victim when i was doing the same thing.
I know we're messed up.
We lived together for four months when we got together. It was my first time living with someone, so it took some adjusting. I know our relationship was put on fast forward. I realize all the faults in the relationship.
All i'm asking is, how can i fix it? can it really be fixed now? I mean whats done is done, and me and him are trying to move on and we do love eachother, we're just trying to hold onto that, but how do i make everyone else let it go?
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 December 2009):
You've been on off though, not truly committed. That's not a good sign. You are of course, able to make your own decisions. And as for you paying all the rent, you can have any guy you want back and your sister can like it or clear off. But if it wasn't really working before, it probably won't now.
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