A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I go to a Roman Catholic school and In Religious Education we were discussing sex before marriage. everyone in my class was saying that they can't wait to have sex and are not waiting for marriage, but for some reason, I want to wait. I am not a goody two shoes, I'm your typical teenager but I am genuinely scared of disappointing God! But when me and my friends were discussing it they all starting teasing me about it (in a friendly way! they weren't being horrible) and started calling me Mary and stuff and it got me really self-concious about my beliefs and felt like I had peer pressure pushing down on me to not care about god or religion. I'm scared of hell and I'm scared of getting pregnant at 16 and I'm scared of people finding out if i did IT. I'm not the most religious person in the world but all the other people in my class threw me off. Am I caring to much about religion or should I just let go and be care-free in this modern age where sex doesn't seem to matter? I was just really shocked about the amount of people who knew it was a terrible sin but didn't seem to care! And now I'm confused, should I follow my religion or just enjoy my time being young?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (28 December 2011):
 Many of us have been influenced by the Catholic Church and its teachings when we were young......With a little help... and lots of luck... you will be able to get over that as you get older.....
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (28 December 2011):
 Have you considered that some of the friends teasing you are just doing it to cover up their own, similar insecurities? If one of them felt the same way, she may have seen one of the others teasing you, and decided it's easier to just play along and tease you too than to take your side, even if it's closer to how she feels. In other words, they felt the same pressure as you, but reacted differently - by pretending they were like the others.
If that's the case, no worries. People tease, it's part of life, and the worst thing you could do would be to let it affect you.
Even if they're all being completely honest, who is to say they'll really mean it later? How many times have you said you would do or not do something, and really meant it, only to change when the situation actually came up?
And even if they're all honest, and they're all going to happily live up to what they said, so what? Ask yourself if they are teasing you because they hope to pressure you into making the best decision for yourself, or in order to make you conform so they can feel better about themselves at your expense. When you really take the time to think about it, you'd be surprised how often friends do the latter. Your job is to do what's best for you - and, if one of your friends needs it, to encourage them to do the same. Teasing can be fun and healthy, but only if you know what lines not to cross.
One last thing: "...should I follow my religion or just enjoy my time being young?"
Why do the two have to be different? What makes you think that having meaningless sex with someone is the best way to enjoy being young? This is the same naive attitude which leads so many girls to spend their youth on promiscuity, then declare they've "had their fun" and end up in an unsatisfying relationship, pining for the old days. It's not an either-or thing: there are dozens of ways to spend your youth, and the time after that, and you really have to evaluate whether or not one choice actually precludes happiness and fulfillment, or if someone is just saying it does.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 December 2011):
 YOU need to do what feels RIGHT for YOU... not what your friends tell you...IF you think that your religious upbrining is important than it is. You are young and you have every right to be confused.I think being scared of being pregnant before you are ready is a good thing.I think that until you are in an age range where YOUR sexual activity is not the topic of conversation between anyone but you and your sexual partner you are right to wait.I do not believe in the religious standpoint of no sex before marriage but I respect those that feel that way.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (28 December 2011):
Let's just set religion to the side for one moment; let's say regardless of what you believed, do you want to have sex? If you still don't, don't feel pressured by what your peers are saying and continue behaving as you would. Sex is definitely not something you want to be pressured into. Saving it for marriage is your personal choice, but saving it for a time when you're ready and is meaningful to you is something I think everyone should consider.If you honestly feel as though you should wait, go ahead and wait! If somewhere down the line you feel as though you're ready, even if you're not married, rationally think about the decision and make sure that you're safe, comfortable, and with someone you trust.The choice is all yours, in my opinion you shouldn't do something just because your peers are doing it and you shouldn't NOT do something just because you've been guilted into thinking its a terrible thing by Catholicism; do what feels right for YOU and you alone.
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (28 December 2011):
To comment specifically on your Catholic school qualms about having sex, the Spanish Inquisition executed its last victim, a schoolteacher by the name of Cayetano Ripoll, who was publicly garotted (strangled) in the main square of Valencia, Spain on July 26, 1826 for heresy, only eleven years before Queen Victoria of England began her reign. Ask yourself what's worse- killing someone for religious reasons or making love? If you're worried about 'disappointing God' by sleeping with a boyfriend, consider the ghastly things the so-called Almighty still allows to happen in the name of EVERY religion. Isn't he supposed to know everything and 'love mankind'? If he exists at all he's the one who's a disappointment. The questions you are asking indicate you are too young to have sex now, so don't, and don't be pressured into it either. Wait a few years, let yourself ripen, and evaluate each new situation according to your feelings at the time. Above all only enter into a sexual relationship because YOU feel it's time, not because someone else is demanding it from you. As for getting pregnant- educate yourself about contraception, and do not let people who have all taken a vow of celibacy make and enforce the rules for a game they never play.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 December 2011):
 Religion is a very sensitive, personal issue and as such not the best to be discussed on DC.
I will just say that, while we cannot prove for sure that there IS a hell- this is a matter of faith- we know for sure there ARE a lot of unwanted teen pregnancies and I think it's very smart of you avoiding the risk of such a disastrous evenience for at least a few more years.
That probably does not reply your answer from a moral point of view- but it does from a common sense one.
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