A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 46 yr old woman, I am in desperate need for change. I want to relocate somewhere else and make a new start. New job, meet new people, boyfriend, etc. I have two grown children 22,24 who I have raised alone, after divorce when they were babies. Both have jobs doing well. My younger son is getting married in a year or so. I am especially close to him. My mother lives in the same area as my boys. My mom knows I want/am eventually going to move 10hrs by car away. But she constantly starts with the guilt trip, of what will my younger son, who is 22, in the Marine Corps, is engaged, going to do without me around? I tell her we will visit each other, text, email, etc. She constantly throws in, what will I do if I get sick, or need help,it goes on and on with the fear factors. She has always been a worrier and fearful of change. She always will find a negative to the positive. Should I feel any guilt for wanting to make a new start for myself?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 May 2010):
Not at all. You've done everything yourself and everything that you needed to. You had two boys and brought them up yourself, and they are now both in secure jobs. Your younger son will be married soon, so him not having you around won't be the end if the world. If you get sick, you'll be fine. I you want something, you'll be fine. You want a change, and I think you completely deserve it. So go for it. Don't be dragged down by people around you guilt tripping you. your boys can always visit, or you can always visit them. Enjoy your new life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2010): no you shouldn't
you did your part and you raised your children alone which is the toughest job for a single mother.
They are all grown up now and independent. it is time for a new Start in your life. your son will even be very busy with his fiance that he will worry less you are away. am sure your children wants whats best for you as well, and if starting over is what you want then go for it. Opportunities always come once in a while. Life is too short to worry about others and feel guilty all the times. Your mum is so used to having you nearby that's why she is saying all that, which is normal with mothers sometimes.
All the best!
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (8 May 2010):
 Feelings of guilt usually implies that we are doing something wrong but if you mother has conditioned you to feel that way that could be what is going on here. I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Your children are grown men. You have done your job. In this day and age 10 hours away by car is not far. Go for it. Get that new start that you so desperately need. The rest will take care of itself.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 May 2010):
 You should follow your heart and find your own happiness. You only live once .
It is a time where you will discover who you are and what you are capable off. Do not have regrets.
You are now free of all responsibilities and you should fly as high and as far as you can see.
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