A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 yrs. I just got into a college that is two and a half hours away from our hometown and we found a home and he moved out here first. My employer wouldn't let me leave until she got back from her mission trip so I was able to do what I wanted which I haven't been able to do for the past 3 yrs. My bf and I already had a rocky relationship. I started to hang out with a co-worker because he just went through a break up. We started to hang out every day and that has turned into a full blown relationship. Now I've moved into my house and am ready to start school. My relationship with my bf has been getting better too. But both men say they love me, want to marry me, have kids with me, and be with me for the rest of their lives. The other man is willing to wait for me since the program is a yr and a half. I'm torn. I'm not sure I even see myself with either one of them in the future. They are both so different. My bf of 4 yrs is so safe that it can be annoying but it might be better later on in life. The other guy races cars and it's a major adrenaline rush and a turn on but he has so many insecurity issues it's hard for me to deal with sometimes. I'm so lost and this program is rigorous, I can't be distracted by this. Should I just end my relationship with both of them? I love them both but this is so overwhelming. I'm so young...I don't know if this is even worth it.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (15 August 2012):
Hi there. Well first and foremost, your education is really important.
So you don't want to ruin that by having lots of relationship issues.
It can simply make life too difficult.
The other guy who races cars, does seem exciting to you - although he does have insecurity issues.
And that could cause him to be a very big emotional drain on your energy.
And it could also make him become very possessive and jealous as well.
Do you really want that?
You probably won't be able to change those issues of his, either.
Does he know about your boyfriend?
If he does, it could be a part of his insecurity issues.
And if it's not, that's an ever bigger problem.
And your boyfriend, although a bit safe and a bit boring although steady, he seems like a better prospect.
And he isn't insecure or needy - which is a good thing.
You can always make your relationship with him more fun, by suggesting fun and exciting things to do on the weekends, that you maybe haven't done before.
Change is good.
During the week get on the internet and do a search for - "Fun activities to do on the weekend" - and find some fun things to do in areas local to where you both live.
So that way, you can make your time together much more interesting and exciting.
Boredom and monotony is after all, a lack of something interesting to do.
So get some ideas flowing, and then on the weekend, put them all into action.
And they don't necessarily have to cost you very much money at all.
You could even plan - at least mentally - what you would like to do over the next 4 weekends.
The sky is the limit.
And the only real limit, is your own imagination.
So get searching on the internet, and do it today!
Life is too short, so start having fun on a regular basis.
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