A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi this is gonna be quite long and a bit weird so im sorry.ive been friends with this guy for years. i mean we grew up together; he was an older brother.he got married out of necessity because he got this girl pregnant and he felt bad so they got married. i think in the beginning the relationship was fine but then afterwards it just went from bad to worse to dreadful, through both of their faults.i am best friends with his wife. we get along really well. i was like their babysitter for their kids. they were a home and protection for me when i needed it and everything in between. well he just got divorced like almost a yr now and they are both happy with it i have a kid too so we all take the kids out and stuff like that. anyway lately he has been showing like real intrest in me and his ex wife told me that we suit each other so well better then she and him, but im afraid. i mean hes so recently out of a relationship and yes i do like him alot but i just never thought about it in that way. im also very much afraid cause my parents are very racist and well hes a different colour and im afraid hes just doing it cause hes got new found freedom. i dunno; im very confused right now, please help.
View related questions:
best friend, divorce, ex-wife, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (5 April 2011):
 This guy is not traumatized by the divorce. He was traumatized by the marriage.
In most divorce cases, people do not need "recovery time".
People need real connections and real intimacy. You already have that base of friendship and you KNOW you can get along.
You are best friends.
It is not a bad idea to date your best friend. It is a bad idea not to.
If your best friend status is like those of the, "I will be with you forever" movies, then DO IT.
What you have is special, and if you don't do that, then you are throwing away a valuable relationship with real potential.
One last thing.
The same people that tell you to marry someone you don't love, because you accidentally have a kid are the same people that will tell you not to do anything with him, because he is a different color.
I don't like to make things black and white, pun not intended, lol! :P However, you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): I read somewhere that it can take 3 months for every year together to get over someone. However well he says hes doing, you dont really know. It would be comfortable for him to slip into a relationship with you. But it would probably be a rebound relationship and might not last. These things generally dont. If there has never been a spark of attraction and you havent ever thought of him in 'that' way. I would leave things as they are. He needs some time to recover from his divorce and decide what hes looking for now. Trying to get with you might seem an easy option for him at the moment but it could ruin any long term friendship. So its up to you but i dont think i'd be tempted.
...............................
|
