A
male
age
36-40,
*suckatdating
writes:Okay,Long story short, went on a few awesome dates with this one girl who I'm really into for some reason. It seemed like she was feeling everything on the seem level too; awesome conversations, a lot in common, a lot of laughs in general. However, all the sudden she stopped returning my calls, stopped texting me when she was available to meet up, stopped communication all together. WTF!? The last form of communication I had with her was last monday from a text I asked of just how her weekend was going... Before that another text saying that "maybe!" she would be able to meet sometime later. Called her later that week, no response :/I have recently found out (as one of her facebook friends) that she had to go back to her hometown in Kansas to take care of her dad who had bypass surgery (her mom also passed away this fall from something unrelated). I completely understand that she has a lot to deal with right now (also unemployed law graduate struggling to find a job), but it's weird that she wouldn't even let me know that she went back to take care of her family. I sort of want to just talk to her to help console her and help her out emotionally if possible, but at the same time that might be a little weird as she's obviously avoiding me. Any thoughts?I would greatly appreciate any advice. I think I need to accept that it's over between us, but it's just really hard as she was the one thing that was making the later part of 2010 bearable for me :(
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female
reader, Outspoken1016 +, writes (22 November 2010):
 I agree with you dear..lay low...dont stress...and give it some time...that is all you can do..
A
male
reader, Isuckatdating +, writes (20 November 2010):
Isuckatdating is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell yeah, but she's not even in the same state right now, I have no idea when she's coming back, and she's pretty much not let me known that she was going to drop off the face of the earth, so I'm definitely playing it cool for a long time... It might be a month or so before I text her again, and seeing how thanksgiving is next week, I doubt she's returning any time soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): I seriously think you should say if you ever want to get away from it for a night then I'll ake you out and we can go have a laugh and a good time.!!
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A
male
reader, Isuckatdating +, writes (19 November 2010):
Isuckatdating is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses.
I'm still not sure what to do really though... I mean me finding that info through fb and then letting her know that I know she's out of town taking care of her dad would be a little unnerving for her I think... Probably the last thing she wants to deal with right now is me wanting to force my way in on something that she's working out on her own.
The ball is definitely in her court right now if and when she wants to get back in touch. If I don't hear from her in a few weeks (which at this rate is what is happening) I might just send a text saying something like "I haven't heard from you in a while, I know that you've had a ton of stuff to deal with this fall but if you ever want to meet up or need anything I want to be there for you."
At this rate, things are looking pretty grim... might need to move on though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): ii know you sort of rely on her, or i guess judging by this post, but you maybe need to leave her to deal with this or offer your support but don't pester her. if this has happened then she has probably changed because of it.
maybe just text her and say something like "i thought we had an awesome few dates and i really enjoyed my self with you, if you ever need anyone to talk to i'm here and if you want to meet up and go out to get your mind of stuff and not talk about your dad then that is fine too."
offer to take her out and treat her well and take her mind of it, if she doesnt want to open up thats probably the best way you can help her.
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A
female
reader, Outspoken1016 +, writes (19 November 2010):
It sounds like this woman has A LOT on her plate right now. IF you care for her you have to understand her and her needs. Maybe she is the type of person who holds stuff in or maybe not. But her father is sick and I’m sorry but calling you to tell you I’m leaving town when I’m in that state of mind is not even close to what’s running through my head.
The best thing you could do is text her that you heard about her father and you are so sorry and if she needs anything that you are there for her. And leave it at that and when she comes out of this hell hole she will call you and if she doesn’t then you accept that too.
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