A
female
age
36-40,
*solated
writes:Im in a 2 1/2 year relationship with a guy i love to bits we have a three month child together. During the pregnancy the relationship was pretty dire but he has really changed and become a great dad. During the pregnancy he told me that he would have to leave the country in a couple of years to run the family buisiness and there was no future for us (after previously leading me to believe that there was.) He is a great dad and a loving partner but i dont know how to deal with this information. I dont know if i can continue in a dead end relationship. I hurt like hell especially when he discusses with me about his future marriage plans etc, i keep thinking that i should end it and deal with the pain now rather than later but i dont know whether to enjoy the time we have and stay together so that he can build a relationship with our son before he leaves (he intends to keep the relationship with him going after leaving. I dont know what to do but having it play on my mind and having to hear the guy i have loved and dedicated myself to for nearly three years talk about his future relationships makes me miserable. Am i being used, am i being completely stupid and naive? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kissmekate  +, writes (22 February 2009):
My dear, i dont know whats your situation now, since i am posting a rather late reply. I hope u are still with him and he loves you like you would like him to love. but chances are, he's gone. such men are very predictable. take it from me. in case you are still in the limbo, please get out asap. if a woman compromise on her dignity, a man never respects her. let him know that you maybe in love with him, but nothing comes before your self respect. let him know that and move on with your head high.
all the best
A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 He is leaving the country and didnt even ask if you and your son wanted to go with him and be together? And he talks about future relationships? It sounds like he doesnt really want a future with you at all, or not right now at least. You are not stupid or naive, you are in love. He doesnt feel the same way back. You should end it now rather than later. The pain will be easier to deal with and it hurts much worse to be with him knowing the whole time it is going nowhere and he is leaving. Maybe the seperation will make him realize he does love and want to be with you, who knows. But continuing knowing what you know now about him not wanting a future with you is a mistake. You wont be enjoying the year with him, it will be heartbreaking. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): why can't you and your son go with him? does he not know you're family too?
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