A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a short term ex I dated for a month and a half. He was very into me: asking me to be exclusive early on, driving multiple times to see me on weekdays (I live a couple hours away from him), buying little gifts for me and for my sister he never met, taking an interest in things I like, telling me how he couldn't stop thinking about me, wanting to wait to get physical, telling he he was looking for something long term, talking about trips he wanted to go on with me, asking about my long term plans and goals even including where I wanted to live, my opinion about different types of weddings, houses, etc. calling everyday after our first date, sometimes multiple times a day, telling me how much he liked me, how he hadn't felt this way in a long time, etc. There was clearly chemistry on every level, and I felt sure we were both on the same page, and I know his feelings and what he was saying to me were genuine. For a few days I felt like he was hinting that he wanted to say I love you. Then he started to get a little distant, and broke up with me telling me we weren't crazy in love and that while we might fall in love slowly the distance made that too difficult and risky. I told him he must not understand how strongly I felt about him, but that I appreciated that he was honest and straightforward, and that I didn't have bad feelings towards him. We haven't spoken since. The only concern I had related to him was that he hadn't been in a serious relationship since he got out of a very serious very long term relationship two years ago. I was a little worried he wasn't as ready to get into a new serious relationship as he thought he was.We broke up a little over a month ago. I still miss him. We met online, and as silly as it is for me to do this, I've checked out his profile a few times because I miss him so much. Since the break up he's definitely been logging on and changing his profile a lot more than normal (we were talking for awhile before we actually met up), I also noticed he's added a number of things I liked and introduced him to, to his profile. Two of these things are incredibly unique things that I am very into and talk about pretty constantly. He's added them to odd sections of his profile that don't really make sense in the context which is out of character for him.Am I reading into these profile updates too much, or could he miss me? Either way I'm torn about whether I should contact him or not, and am looking for advice.
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (12 December 2011):
 Hi,
You seem like a very nice girl. I guess him adding the things you like in his profile means that you've introduce him to new ventures and now he likes them. I wouldn't necessary say that means he misses you.
He was very nice to you, complete gentleman. The relationship started well, you are both good, normal people. I am sure he was honest and had true feelings for you. Like he said, I guess the distance made him realize that this could not have a future. LDR are difficult to maintain. It works for some people, but you need to have a lot of patience, devotion, and some people cannot handle being apart. I guess he needs someone close to him. Even though he was in a long term relationship, after so long I think he's ready to be in a new relationship. It's not about you, like I said, he truly like you and enjoy being with you, but I guess the distance made it difficult for him.
If you want, you can contact him. You didn't end in bad terms, and there's no reason why he would not answer your calls/msgs. You can remain friends, who knows what can happen in the future? But, do not get too emotionally attached to him, because you are a nice, sweet girl and I don't want your heart to be broken or hurt. He's nice, he was honest, and he didn't give you false hopes...
Sorry you miss him :(
Hope you feel better... Happy holidays!!!
Good luck/best wishes
A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 If he missed you he would contact you. There is no point in reading his profile daily trying to connect the dots! You need to respect his decision to move on. If he REALLY missed you ... you would know and there would be no need for you to do Detective work. Good luck hun... Sometimes we have to learn to let go. xx
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