A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Okay! Here we go! My wife and I and our two young children are going to return to my wife's native country (not to be mentioned here) for a visit this spring and summer for about a month for me; she and the kids will stay a little longer. My wife has told me that her friend, a widow at 29, has asked her if I could sleep with her (the widow) and try to get her pregnant while I am there. At first, I laughed and was intrigued by it all, but then I began wondering a little. Yet, my wife told me that both of them were very serious and that she would give me permission to be discreet and to meet her friend for a short time durng the day for about two weeks total. Yes, I know there are pitfalls, but the girl seems to genuinely want me to do it. The girl had been married to a man who was 38 years her senior, but he died suddenly of a heart attack about two years ago. He was 64. I think she is attractive; but when I think about it, she is not really a good looker that much, unless she fixes herself up. I would find her attractive and I would be willing to do it, if my wife agrees to it. And she wants me to.Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Pros and con? I know that I will get a lot of people who don't like this, but I wouldn't be the first to do it, I bet. Are there any pros out there?I would appreciate in advance any thoughts. Thank you! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): I am the person who replied above anonymously and I am the "principal" in this question. Yes, I agree all of you have very excellent, well thought-out answers and I appreciate your taking the time to give them. I agree that this probably was a joke between my wife and the girl and then became serious much more than it should have been; but now that it's not such a good idea, the girl is probably going to try and look for someone, maybe at a later date. I think over the years, the girl has always admired me and that is why my wife and she probably got sucked up in the idea that I could help her. I believe that my wife was actually at first well-intended and now after some doubts, the both of us feel, it is not good for us, the young lady, and any child that might be conceived. Thank all of you for your serious and honest replies.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): Dont do it. I think they are looking for a mug to take for a ride!
You sound more worried about this womans looks than her agenda.
If I were you, I would be more worried about a child of mine being raised in another country. This is a human being that we are talking about here. One that might never meet you. Or might only ever meet you for brief periods while growing up. Rather sad and hardly ideal.
And do bare in mind that your child and its mother could easily appear in the States, waving a birth certificate and demanding child support and US citizenship in a year or so. And land you with a big financial expense or debt. I would steer clear of this half baked idea.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2013): Everybody! I agree that you are all correct. Even my spouse says that it would be silly in the end. But, I really wonder if this girl will ever get a new husband. I hope so, but I have my doubts. Thanks for your advice.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (7 April 2013):
At 29 she has over 10 years to make a new relationship and have children with a guy who can be a real father. Possibly what she is asking now is a diversion from her grieving and is not a well thought out plan. If she really wants a child without a partner and to afford to do this then she should afford to pay for ivf and use an anonymous donor. Even if you donate sperm you are legally responsible for the maintenance of the child.
This is a bad idea and I am sure your wife's position is out of sympathy for her friends situation but it sounds like a really bad plan and you should avoid starting what could well become a real mess. In the long term it would also make it harder for the friend to start a new relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 April 2013):
 I agree fully with iAmHereToHelpYou.
It's NOT a very smart idea at all.
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