A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:The first two times I hooked up with my girlfriend she had slept with her ex boyfriend earlier in each night. These two times we hooked up were a year apart, and the 2nd time a few months before we began officially dating. Once in a while she talks about how much she loves "our story" and how we were into each other way before we started dating, but she seems to forget that I was drunk sloppy seconds both times.Guys: How would you feel if you were in this situation? Would you build a life long relationship on something that started this way?My point is that I am at a crossroads in this relationship, either break it off or commit seriously (we've been dating 14 months). There are a few reasons I'm hesitant to commit further, but this is one of them.thanks ahead -
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): I'm not a guy but I want to say to you, that everything I read in your posting, smacks of doubt...a lot of it. There are 'lack of respect' issues going on here, as well. All big huge waving red flags! I would even go so far as to state, you don't love her. If you have to ask these questions about her, then she is not the one! Plain and simple. Quite honestly, I wonder, if you just "love" having her around. Break it off, because if you truely loved her, you would most definitely would want to fully commit yourself to her, irregardless of how this relationship started. Cut her loose -let her go fimnd someone who doesn;t have all theses doubts about her and takes her as is.
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (20 November 2008):
 I'm not a guy, but I hope you don't mind me answering :)
I just wondered, if you really like her, why would you let those two times when you first met up ruin it all for you? I mean, 14 months are quite some time to spend with someone if you don't like her very much, so I think you do. If she is all you want except from those two occasions, then I would say forget about that and choose to live happy with the girl you love! You deserve that even though you happened to be drunk and sloppy in the start up.
Wish you luck!
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A
male
reader, toddybad  +, writes (20 November 2008):
? I have to ask - what does it matter? It happened and you've known about it for a while and been dating for 14 months. It sounds like you really like the girl so why on earth would this make any difference to that?
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