A
female
age
30-35,
*em98
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for about 5 months, a few weeks ago he told me he wanted space because he felt that i was always on his back and that i was too clingy.. so i left him alone and 2 days later he came crawling back saying he missed me and loved me. so afer that we were really good for a couple of weeks..but the past couple of days haven't felt the same, and i've been looking back on the past couple of months and thinking alot about everything and weighing the pros and cons.. the cons would be.. 1. in the 5 months we have been together he has only taken me out on a date ONCE ( we went out to dinner and the whole time he looked like he didnt wanna be there )2. he always promises to take me out to dinner or just hang out together but it never happens, always cancels on me. its like he doesnt want to do anything nice for me3. sometimes he speaks really rudely to me but doesnt even notice it, calls me dumb and stupid, he says he only joking but it still hurts my feelings. 4. whenever im upset about something he's done and i try to talk to him about it he doesnt listen and turns it around on me. i feel like i cant talk to him about anything without him acting like a child and being rude.5.hates christmas, birthdays, valentines day etc.6. on wednesday he asked me to stay over, i asked him what time to does he want me to come over,and he said 6.30.. so i got there at 6.30 and he wasnt there, i txt him asking when he was coming home and he just replied with "dunno soon".. he came home 2 hours later and went straight to the couch and turned on the tv.. didnt even say hi to me or acknoweledge that i was there!so in the morning i txt him saying that i felt like i care about him so much more than he cares about me. he replied with "you frustrate me" i asked how and he said, im too hard to please and that i get confused easily. i didnt hear from him for the rest of day so i went over to his house that night to try and sort things out.when i got there i said can we talk? and he said about what? im sick of talking its not like we are married. He acted really rude and didnt listen to a word i said, he just agreed with everything i said in a sarcastic way, i told him he was a bad boyfriend and he just said "thanks" i asked "why are you being like this, you never used to be like this" and he would just say "well maybe i've changed" i cant remember much of the conversation but all i remember he was being rude and not willing to work things out. he got up to leave and i tried to stop him, i got so angry and started pushing him and yelling at him, he turned around and threw me onto the couch and left. about half an hour later he txt me saying he wants a break for a week, to think about everything and to not have any contact with me, he said it would be the best thing for us.but i just dont know what i want anymore. i want to be with him but not like this. i want things to change.. i think its just useless having this break, like we are holding onto something that just wont workwhat do you guys think, please help, any advice would be appreciated.
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female
reader, superwoman021  +, writes (12 February 2010):
I'm in the same situation as you, and i've been doing it for 10 months now, and i still dont understand them, it seems like he is only thinking about himself in this relationship, and i understand that you cant sit him down and talk, it happens to me all the time, but i think yous do need a heart to heart, and look your best and be all nice then he will relise what he will lose when your not there, and he will come crawling back and he will be more loving hopefully, but remember its shouldnt always be about him in a relationship. xx
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