A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Sometimes I feel alone even though I have people around me. I come from a good family, but sometimes I wonder if its too good. I never go out to parties to get drunk, do drugs, or sleep with different girls. It's not like I haven't thought about it the only thing that really stops me are my parents. I've been in trouble with them before. Nothing really serious I've just lied to them so that I could spend time with my long time now ex girlfriend. Not the smartest decision I've made but I can say I have learned from it. I'm an 18 year old senior and I'm just sitting back wondering if I should do more or just wait until college. I think I'd be fine with not going out as much getting drunk, doing drugs snd etc. if I had a girlfriend but when I look around all I see are stuck up girls who just want to party. I don't really know advice will be very welcolmed. Please and thank you.
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (7 February 2015):
There are lots of things you can do in life that does not have to be illegal or over the top. You don't have to over drink to have a good time and you don't need to hurt people around you to experience life. It only seems like you need to do what everyone else is doing to fit in, but people fit in naturally and the social groups based on alcohol and such never last or offer anything rewarding. I am sure if you looked harder, you will find other people just like yourself.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 February 2015):
 Be who you are.
I worked hard, studied hard AND "socialized" hard through college. I also had a serious BF throughout the time in college. I never did drugs ( I had a few pot-heads in my circle of friend) My big brother was big on pot for a while to and all it did was teach me, no thanks. I had a good friend who did coke on the week-ends, who lost his REALLY good job at a random pee-test. So again, no thanks. I saw plenty of folks doing drugs at work (I worked as a bartender) and again, all it did was make me think, no thanks.
There is being a "party person" and then there is being social. HUGE difference. My group of friend would met for brunch every Sunday, not everyone showed EVERY Sunday, but it usually turned into a "planning party" for going out to movies, museums, art-shows, theater, concerts, dinner parties, week-end get-away. Those who weren't there would get "notified" so they could join in.
I also found time for the family. Sunday night were family dinner at my parents house. Sometimes I'd bring a friend or two as well.
You have to FIND a balance that works for you.
I DO think it's a GOOD to get out and socialize, met new people, see old friends. But to try and be some "party animal" because you think if you don't you are missing out - if that isn't you, then don't. Sleeping with a lot of girls, having random hook ups is really good for 1 thing, a greater chance for catching a STD or knocking up a girl. IT IS NOT going to make you feel less lonely. HANG out with people with similar interests and values.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2015): I feel like you want to go out and do them for the wrong reasons.
It doesn't seem like you really want to "party" 100% so why do it just to fit in? As you said, you're not into girls who are stuck up and want to party all the time so why go to these parties where that's the only kind of girl you're going to find?
I'm 20, a junior in college, and I've never gone to a party. It's just not worth the trouble and danger (drunk drivers, bad decisions).
Being "good" isn't something to take negatively. Is having decent standards for yourself bad?
If you truly want to experiment then do it. I mean at least then you'll know if you truly enjoy it.
All I'm saying is don't jump into it hoping it'll make you all of a sudden fine with partying. If you're not into it then you're not into it. Simple as that. Don't force yourself to like it.
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