| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am very in love with my boyfriend of two years, the only problem is my extreme jealousy which tears me up inside. he has had one other major relationship in his life and a few other fairly major relationships whereas he is my first boyfriend and this really bothers me as i HATE knowing that he's said 'i love you' to other girls, that he's slept with other girls etc etc . anyways his major ex-girlfriend obviously used to love making him CDs 'cause i've found a few in his collection, the messages written on them are forever playing out in my head ("i'll love you forever" , "you'll ALWAYS be my baby" etc). the thing that bothers me HUGELY is that he knows they're there and doesn't do anything about it!? i dont want to say anything because i want him to WANT to throw them away you know, not do it just 'cause i asked. also we cleaned out his room yesterday and came across two rings that two ex-girlfriends had given him, i'd seen them before and been more than unimpressed with him because of them, and yesterday i saw him mulling over them thoughtfully and then put them with the rest of his jewelery (i.e. all the stuff I'VE given him). all this stuff, these cds, those rings, these photographs, they're making me so upset knowing they're still sitting in his room and what makes it worse is that he KNOWS how upset these things make me and makes no move to get rid of them. he did once say that he "should probably keep the ring" 'cause it "looks expensive" but that's crap because the one is discoloured and anyways is you're really over someone you shouldn't care if you're wasting their 'expensive' gift they gave you, am i right?
View related questions:
ex girlfriend, jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, we-are-nowhere  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 have the same thing with my bf , has pjotos of his ex gf and it bothers the hell out of me and i also want him to want to delete them but the thing is that , if it was a serious long relation where they like wanted to spend their lives together he wont totally get over it he will always love her a little atleast , not in a romantic way even just as a person so while i do understand why h e wont delete and throw the pics - or the rings in your case - it is totally natural that it bothers you , that is all i have when i figure out my situation i would be more helpful for you ;)
A
female
reader, Reeta  +, writes (3 May 2009):
First of all, I can relate so much to your situation! My boyfriend's exs made of me an incredibly jealous person in the past, and it got so bad that I almost broke up with him several times. What I've learnt from my experience is that jealousy is mostly caused because of a lack of communication. If your boyfriend really understood why these objects disturb you, then he wouldn't keep them just because. You should make him sit, talk to him and explain sincerely how this situation is affecting you. You could also add that it's a lack of respect of his part to have these stuff in his room where you hang out. Two years is a lot of time together, and enough for you to be able to reproach him freely. Jealousy is not to be ignored;it can easily finish with a relationship, no matter how much love there is. I know how it would be much easier if he got rid of these stuff without you having to tell him to, but if he doesn't it's better to act than to wait crossed handed for jealousy to turn into lack of trust and so on. When I talked to my boyfriend about ex gfs' issues I felt so much better and relieved, it was my way of setting my own main rules for the relationship. Rules that he'll know are essential for you, and that he'll have to respect if he doesn't want to lose you.
...............................
|
