A
female
age
41-50,
*inebabe
writes:hi i'm really confussed and don't know what to do, i'm 27 and have been with my partner now for 10 years and have 2 lovely girls and we are getting married next year. everything between us is perfect i love him and our life together is good, but recently i have been getting closer to a friend at work who i know likes me and can't stop thinking about him. he is 3 years younger than me living with his mates and even though i want something to happen with him i have reponsabilities, why he has none and it could ruin my whole life and our friendship. does this make me a bad person? should i still be getting married if i have feelings for someone else aswell?calling off the wedding will mean i lose everything with my partner (wedding expensives, house, friendship, custody even) and i do love him, but all i want to do is kiss someone else, why now after a 10 year perfect relationship?
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male
reader, NITRAM BLUE  +, writes (4 January 2009):
 does this make me a bad person? should i still be getting married if i have feelings for someone else aswell?
calling off the wedding will mean i lose everything with my partner (wedding expensives, house, friendship, custody even) and i do love him, but all i want to do is kiss someone else, why now after a 10 year perfect relationship?
You had a 10 year perfect relationship and about to get married with the best domestic partner and then Hugh Jackman came along. What do you do?
I say you have goosebumps about getting married despite of the fact that you have 2 great kids who would act as flower girls at your wedding.
Even if you drop the whole wedding idea and lose everything, that sexiest man will just give you no more than 10 weeks of a below average relationship before he walks out on you.
My advice: Be contented with what you have. You are in heaven, why on earth will you want to go to hell?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): At least I know i'm not the only one in the world who is in nearly the same situation as you.
This is really tough. Our mind & heart will play tricks on us until they can have what they desire. It makes you think, Marriage and monogamy is a traditional thing in culture. However, humans have instinct just as animals do. Sometimes that is sexual attraction.
You have to ask yourself. Is it worth it to place it all on the line and act as your instinct tells you? Imagine yourself having to go through the law process with the house and kids. Then imagine everything taken care of with your fiance, and you're all set with the new guy, and you find he's a bum. You might eventually find yourself in a cycling situation. Just weigh your odds and i'm sure you'll make the right choice. You could both see a counselor too, which might help to some degree. It would also help prevent him retaliating against you as it's a sign you want to make it work.
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A
female
reader, XxAnGelXxx +, writes (24 December 2008):
 It doesn't make you a bad person. I guess its just human nature to get those feelings toward someone, even if you are involved with someone. Lifes a meanie sometimes and likes to throw obsticals at you when you really don't want them. If you know you are happy with what you currently have, then focus on that. Maybe try and block the thoughts of this other person out your head with things like, the time your other half proposed, or your first date, and hopefully That'll have you back to being content with what you've already got asap :)
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