A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Men please give me your perspective on my situation.I have had a male friend from a dating site that I have been seeing for around 10 months. We both agreed we do not seek a sexual relationhip just yet so exclusivity or commitment is not expected. However, I am a bit stuck because I really enjoy the company of this man, we have similar interests and sense of humour, both same age, mid 50s. he takes up every invite I give him and he sleeps in my daughter's room, he once flew to spend time with me on a short break, he talks about what we could do in the short distance future BUT he never calls me first.Him never taking the initiative to call me is making me feel I am running after him, yet the other side of it is I am just enjoying his friendship and why worry about it? However it is increasingly really irritating me and making me feel I should just stop seeing him.I did tell him how I felt and he seemed surprised and said he isn't usually the one to call his friends ans that it had been 3 months since he phoned his mother!Hd just doesn't seem to get that contact is a two way thing, but he just doesn't seem to think of making the first move now and again.One of the problems I could throw in here is he has been depressed due to the end of his marriage 18 months ago and that he 'wants to deal with being alone myself', but even though I respect that. I have my own needs and since I like verything else about our friendship, this aspect is one major deficit.I am being unreasonable?If a friendship/companion gave you most things you wanted except one big thing, would you end it?I guess I am feeling more for him these days and afraid if I don't back out now I will find it more difficult later on. I am also feeling disloyal if I make friends with other men.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 You're right. It will be difficult later on, and you're selling yourself short. This guy views things on a friendship level (what guy honestly agrees with the "no sex" rule?!), and doesn't have that burning desire for you. If he did, he'd be calling you just to hear the sound of your laugh. At your age, he should be wining and dining you.
Don't sell yourself short, because there ARE men out there who are just waiting to make you feel like a queen! Don't feel bad about making friends with other men! Cut this guy loose, and if he starts calling and pursuing you, great! But laziness at the start of a relationship is absolutely not a good sign.
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