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Should I be bothered that he didn't tell me he was going out?

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Question - (13 August 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ok, so I just talked to my boyfriend..as usual every morning before we both start our work day.

He says, "yeah a buddy of mine called me to go out yesterday..(he's dating his sis/living together).

Anyways, they went out and it ended up being 4 guys at a pool hall. He drank about 5 beers and woke up with a huge hangover!! Now, he's like 'well I wanted to go out with the guys'. He sees his buddies about once a month or so.

Should I be bothered that he didn't tell me he was going out? I guess he could just say.. 'they told me and I went it was a last minute thing.' And that he didn't even have to tell me he went out at all..but he did.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (13 August 2009):

So why are you bothered that he didn't call you to say he was going out?

You aren't his mum. He doesn't need your permission.

Does he call you to tell you he's having a poo?

He's a man, he has friends, he goes out, he drinks, he goes to the toilet.

Why should he have to tell you any of it if it doesn't affect you in any way?

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 August 2009):

Honeypie agony auntNo I don't think he HAS to tell you every time he does something. You are not his mom, right?

I think if you trust him and he trusts you as well you can both benefit from some time apart with friends. I think being joined at the hip isn't always necessary, unless of course you are conjoined twins..

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (13 August 2009):

Starlights agony auntNo dont be bothered he didnt tell you.

Your not your partner's keeper, he is a free sane adult and can make his own decisions to go out.

You should trust him.

If you feel bad he didnt let you know he went out, then you can casually tell him to tell you his plans during the day just so you dont worry about him.

Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'd like to add that I met all his buddies..so nothing to hide there.

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