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Should I be aiming higher? IS the grass always greener?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 February 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 February 2011)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone,

I'm wondering... do any of you suffer from the Grass Is Always Greener Syndrome, like I do?

I have a typical office job, where I work 8-9 hours a day, five days a week. I don't HATE what I do, but I'm not exactly passionate about it either. It's a place to earn money, to do the things I love outside of work.

When 6pm comes, I jump in my car, pick up my boyfriend and we drive to the beach together, where we swim for hours, chatting about our days activities, until the sun goes down. Then we eat dinner, surf the net a bit and lay together for the rest of the night, cuddling and fooling around together - generally just enjoying each other's company. We've been together for four years now.

On the weekends, we'll take off tramping, or we'll take a drive through the country, or we'll go on a three hour biking trek. Neither of us have many friends, but we're each OTHER'S best friend and are happy enough just to spend quality time together.

Fact is though, that I could aim MUCH higher career wise than what I'm doing now and so could HE. He has a double degree and in my study, I won an award for being the top performing student.

While I was studying and working in the industry, all I thought about, while I was trapped in a high-stress environment filled with daily goals and deadlines, was how I'd rather be doing the things I truly love with my boyfriend. We went an entire year without doing any of the things that make us both so happy.

When I finished my apprenticeship, I was tired of working all the time and missed the life experiences my boyfriend and I always loved sharing together. When I think of the high-stress job I could be aiming for, I think of having to leave my beloved hometown to live in some big impersonal city. I think of the late nights working, the long hours and the sunny weekends I won't be able to enjoy. I think of that and I realise I don't want that for myself and my life.

But then I see people successful in their chosen fields and immediately feel like that's what I SHOULD be doing.. and that there must be something wrong with me for wanting the life I have?

At the height of my success during my apprenticeship, my dreams for my future never changed. Sure, I want to have something in my life I'm passionate about and that I enjoy, but for a day job, I like having something I spend 6-9 hours a day at, that I can forget about at the end of the day, where my weekends remain free to do with what I want. I don't miss being all-consumed with work.

All I really truly want in my heart, is a house with my boyfriend.. where we can buy a dog together and continue to enjoy all the things we love i.e. the outdoors, travelling on holidays, lazy afternoons at the beach, looong drives on the countryside.

Do I sound way too sentimental? Is anyone still reading? hehe! Sorry for rambling.

I just want to know whether people think I should be aiming higher. I strongly believe that it's easier in life to be successful than it is to be HAPPY. HAPPINESS is my ultimate goal. I feel like I'm closer to that NOW, as I'm relaxed enough to be able to ENJOY life, rather than being tied down to some stressful position. But the thoughts about whether it's what I SHOULD be doing and whether it's BETTER for me continue to repeatedly crop up.

What are your thoughts? Do you guys ever feel like this? Is it just the natural women's nesting instinct etc?

Thanks in advance

View related questions: best friend, money, on holiday, the internet, trapped

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A female reader, Justicepleaze United States +, writes (8 February 2011):

Whatever you are passionate about aim for that. You might still have to have a 9-5 job at the moment. But, never let your passion die.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011):

You guys are wonderful! Thanks so much :)

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (8 February 2011):

chigirl agony auntIm with you: life is about being happy. Do what you need to achieve that happiness. Even if it's not the best job you could get career wise, or money wise. As long as you enjoy what you do, gain from it, it pays your bills and what you want in life and need to be happy. You don't need a large house if what makes you happy is simply to lay in bed all day, snuggled up with your boyfriend. What you need then is a comfortable bed, not 5 living rooms. Get what I mean? Im sure you do.

When it all comes down to it you yourself know what you truly and actually really wants and need in life, and what is important for you. Money can't buy happiness they say, but I will remind you that money is needed for certain things that do give happiness. Like roof over your head, good food, warm clothes, to pay for repairs and gas money etc. But the large mansion and yacht is not necessary for most to be happy.

Identify what makes YOU happy. You alone. And not what would make the rest of the world happy, or what the media tells you will make you happy. The materialistic things typically fall to the bottom of that list. And for the record, I think you've made the right choice. You only live once, so why not spend life doing what you enjoy?

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (7 February 2011):

Jmtmj agony auntIf you ask me, the point of life is simply to be happy, to do whatever makes you happy and to ignore what anyone else expects you to amount to...

The people with the highest IQ's on the planet are FAR from the happiest and often don't fulfill their full potential that society expects them to, career wise... I can't help but wonder if its because such super intelligent people can see that trying to satisfy societal pressures is pointless/unfulfilling and that personal happiness is what really matters in life. But that's just what I like to think.... :)

If you're happy, then who the hell cares what anyone else thinks.

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