A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedabouthim
writes:I dont know what to do anymore???? Ok I have been with my boyfriend 2 years in May!! When I first met him he was working hard always workin extra hours if he could! We got together and we moved to his moms to a very small town! There was NOTHING there for work so we both got a job at a fast food place 45 minutes away from there.... We ended up Moving to that town to be closer to work! He worked maybe 8 months and then quit bcuz of certain issues I understood... Now ok I found out I was pregnant and very high risk bcuz I was told I couldnt have kids! There was nothing in that town for work but I felt like my boyfriend didnt even do what he could to try find something meanwhile im working full time... overtime sometimes, 7 days a week.. while pregnant...to support both of us! We decided to move where all my family was and where there were better job opportunities for my boyfriend! We moved here July 1st 2010 and hes worked for maybe MAYBE 2months! Now yes hes had bad luck with findin a good job I understand that,,,but now our son is 3 months old and since our son was born he hasnt done anything to finding work...I just told him if he dont find a job asap I am leaving him! Its not that I want to leavehim but it seems like since our son has been born he dont care about his work..he has no work ethic! Bcuz my uncle will help me out whenever I want I feel like thats giving him no motivation to look for work... Bcuz I just told him im leaving if he dont find work he said ' fine then leave u arrogant stuck up selfish bitch' 'if u dont want to be with me then leave' and its not that i dont want him... i love him with all my heart... i just cant do it anymre..i work for my uncle.. not a hard job but i go sit at his house everyday mon-fri... and sit with his wife who had a stroke n cant talk... so im there in case of emergency and someone needs to be called...he pays me every 2 weeks and i am also on mat leave.... thats how we been payin rent, bills, groceries... his smoking habits.... EVERYTHING.I also bring our baby with me every morning... i get picked up at 630am and dropped off back at home 6.30pm!!! MY uncle is moving to vancouver at the end of the month so i only get one more pay from him... then im back to makin 1024 a month from my mat leave and our rent is 1000 alone!! since i told my boyfriend i only get one more pay left, hes somewhat started looking for work... and then he asked me to ask my uncle if he could help us out until we get on our feet but i feel like if i do that its just gonna give him more of a reason to not look as hard for a job as he could....hes not giving it all and he says things like how do u think i feel i moved somewhere i have never been before dont knw anything dont knw my way around.. its hard to find work!! He wonders why im always a bitch... but you try takin care of a baby 24/7 doin house work, paying for EVERYTHING and not gettin any help! I could keep going but i think u guys got the picture....What do i do??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 No dont ask your uncle for money, it is not his responsibilty to help you and your boyfriend out and it will just give him an excuse not to look harder for work. You need to sit down with him and first off say sorry for nagging him all the time but that you are worried now at the end of the month that you are going to be completely broke. Tell him your uncle has done enough for you and now it is time that you both financed yourself. Tell him he needs to start supporting his family as well as you cant do it by yourself. Maybe once you finish at your uncles you could both get part time jobs and work around childminding your son half and half.
He needs to start pulling his weight and if he doesnt then hun am afraid you are going to have to stop making empty threats and walk out and leave him. That will soon show him that you are serious and it may give him the shock that he needs. Goodluck.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (9 February 2011):
No dont ask your uncle for money, it is not his responsibilty to help you and your boyfriend out and it will just give him an excuse not to look harder for work. You need to sit down with him and first off say sorry for nagging him all the time but that you are worried now at the end of the month that you are going to be completely broke. Tell him your uncle has done enough for you and now it is time that you both financed yourself. Tell him he needs to start supporting his family as well as you cant do it by yourself. Maybe once you finish at your uncles you could both get part time jobs and work around childminding your son half and half.
He needs to start pulling his weight and if he doesnt then hun am afraid you are going to have to stop making empty threats and walk out and leave him. That will soon show him that you are serious and it may give him the shock that he needs. Goodluck.
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A
female
reader, ashley187  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 Honestly, if he can't be a man and help support his family then I wouldn't ask my uncle to help me, I'd be begging to move in with him! It is NOT fair for you to carry all the burden and responsibilities on your shoulders while he sits around and watches you bust your ass. He seems lazy to me. I could never be with someone that didnt work. Poor him, he's in a new place-- waa. People relocate all the time, and if they got an eviction notice I'm sure he couldnt just tell the landlord he didnt know anyone so he didnt work, he would still be thrown out. You need to seriously think about this. Why live such a hard life and do for him when he's not doing for you at all? Think about you and what's best for you. If he can't actually try to be better..he's not worth staying for. i'm a firm believer that a woman should not supposrt a man. Helping out or splitting the bills is okay; but not supporting them. No no no.
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