A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. My bf cheated on me about 9 months ago and we're been a bit rocky since, but I decided to forgive him and he's been as good as gold since so I am building up my trust. I originally found out about it as I had an insecure moment and checked his phone (I know I shouldn't have). And he says he accepts now that I may check his phone from time to time. And I do, not regularly, but just once a month or so. Yesterday I found a message from someone I didn't know asking him for a catch up (a girl). Shall I ask about it or just let it go? I feel quite uneasy but it's my fault because I have chosen to give this relationship ago. Please advise! :) xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2012): ask him about it, but don't be accusing and jump to conclusions or get prematurely upset. he needs to feel its' safe to tell you the truth. if he think you can't handle the truth, in future he'll just lie to you again.
and realize that you chose to continue this relationship despite his cheating on you. This situation (even if innocent) could play out who knows how many more times for as long as you stay with him. maybe it's time to re-evaluate if continuing this relationship was a wise decision.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): He`s a cheat. Cheats need checking out.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 IF he knows you look at his phone and he's ok with it then by all means you can and should ask. but be casual.
remember that he has NO control over what others do so a girl sending a text to "catch up" with him may not be anything other than an old friend or ex touching base. He can't be faulted for that...
HOW he handles it is what you need to watch...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): If he is OK with you looking at his phone, then yes. Ask him what happened about it and if they ever caught up with each other. It is better to ask than to worry about it in silence.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): Ask him about it if it bothers you. But not in an accusing tone. Ask him the same way you would if you saw him talking to someone you've never seen before whether it be a guy or girl.
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