A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last weekend I went to a club and met my boyfriend there. He went out with his guy friends first and I went out with my girlfriends first. When I walked in he was super sweet and flirty and we were all having a great time. We were sitting at a booth with really low small tables. I was between two of the tables and someone wanted to sit beside him so he started trying to push me over. The music was really loud and I was saying I can't move over and over. Since my legs were crossed he was just pushing me into the table over and over again. It started to hurt and I yelled at him to get his attention so he wouldn't push me into the table again (at this point I was already bruised). He finally heard me when I yelled and I was unable to cross my legs at scoot over. He immediately crossed his arms and started the silent treatment...with no offering of an apology that I had a bruise on my leg. I didn't even know he was mad and just kept asking him "why are your arms crossed? whats wrong?" he just said nothing over and over again until I said lets go. I ended up leaving the party early (it was a birthday party) because he wouldn't talk or move out of his crossed arms position. On the way home I asked him what was wrong and got the nothing response again. We get home and I go into the living room and he goes to bed without saying a word so I walk into the bedroom and say I KNOW something is wrong, you started acting funny every since my leg was getting pushed into the table..then he just started yelling, still no apology. It ended up with me staying in the guest bedroom crying and him ignoring me...He always get super defensive, I tried to tell him I wasn't yelling at him, I was in pain and couldn't get his attention then he starts going into ways that I need to deal with him when he gets that way and how I didn't handle the issue very well... AGH!!What in the world...does this seem overly sensitive? Should I apologize for yelling to get his attention? Should he of apologized for putting a huge bruise on my leg? Should I find better ways to deal with him when he gets in this mood...even if I don't think it is something that I did wrong?? PLEASE HELP!
View related questions:
flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (17 September 2008):
 Oh HIS feelings are important, but YOURS aren't. Find a grown man, sweetheart.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Should you apologize. Easy to check, go to the mirror, if you see 'doormat' printed on your forehead, then apologize.
Else, you weren't wrong, he was. To be honest he sounds like a small child insensitive to others feelings even outright pain. Bad enough in a child, barely excusable for a teen but at your age?
This guy seems to have issues and you got to ask yourself, do you really want to be his counceler trying to sort him out? As noble as it may sound, it is not a very healthy attitude. You would after all then be trying to change him, loving him not for who he is but for who you want to turn him into.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life dealing with his moods? What do you want, a boyfriend or a patient?
...............................
A
male
reader, flahammerhead +, writes (16 September 2008):
Your boyfriend sounds childish and I suspect learned to "withdraw" when he was young. Let him crawl in his cave and when he comes out, simply tell him "what happened" and let it go. Your boyfriend needs to grow up and learn how to deal with people besides himself.
...............................
|
